missy meaygghan

for my mister

2012-01-24T19:09:00.000-08:00

hi big c. it's your wifey missing you a lot while you at working the night shift. i don't think i tell you enough how proud i am of how hard you work. though sometimes the hours managing the apartment complex on top of your night gig of editing feels like mindless droll on top of pointless conflict, you are slowly making your name in the world's most competitive industry. i think i missed you the most tonight when the previews were showing before my "six feet under" menu came into view and there was a preview for a supernatural series about southern depression-era carnies. complete with a faith healing or two and more than a bit of blood. it looks awesome and i think you'd like it too.

now they're showing griffith park on "six feet under" and we really like that place.

hey, i am super proud of you for editing that short film we saw on sunday and i'm super glad that we stayed to watch it, and i'd like to take back the swear word i muttered under my breath when i heard that your film was going to be last.

now the new boyfriend character on "six feet under" is showing the mom his really horrible, enormous tattoo and i'm really happy that we both laughed out loud when we saw it and had the same reaction of "oh honey no!!!"

smooches,

miss meaygghan

I'm a Mormon and I'm not voting for Mitt Romney

2011-11-13T09:29:00.001-08:00

I'm a Mormon and I'm not voting for Mitt Romney.

I want to focus on secular problems, the problems of this world and help to bring about social justice. I want to put my energies into solving problems like poverty, inequality, and illiteracy. I want equality and justice for all: male and female, black and white, gay and straight. I want transparency from the organizations I buy from, including the organization I tithe to. I want to live in an egalitarian society, not a patriarchy where women are "separate but equal." I want a society where racial and sexual minorities are protected. I want to live in a society where mental health problems are seen as valid as any other physical ailment. I want to live in a democratic society, not one where the wealthiest make decisions that are somehow supposed to reflect the best interests of a fractured society. I want to live in a society where Muslim people are allowed the privilege of worshipping "how, where or what they may" without recluse or hatred.

I believe that the founder of my religion, Joseph Smith, envisioned a Zion and a society that would be egalitarian for both sexes and all races. There are evidences in history to suggest that Joseph Smith had a different view of homosexual sin than we do in our modern church. I take pride in those ideas of Joseph Smith, and hope that with those ideas we can live in a more peaceful society. I believe the founders of our American constitution had a very nuanced belief system of their own Christianity, and wanted others to enjoy the freedom of a personal relationship with God that was free from institutionalized shame.

I'm a liberal, and I'm a Mormon.

the fat bank

2011-09-27T17:58:00.000-07:00

i heard about a bank in florida opening up that will allow clients to store their fat removed from lipsuction surgeries. just in case down the road, you decide you want to shoot some of that stuff into your lip or boobs or use it for a hair treatment or something.

of course, i've just seen "fight club" this weekend. i was struck by how the physical act of beating the tar out of their brothers really allowed these angry, blue-collar young men to bond together. they felt a closeness out of releasing their tension of being cogs in a wheel all day at work. of course i am a cog in a wheel, and pissed off at the state of this country so the tone of the film, while quite violent, also struck something of a chord with me.

i read articles about how people my age are fresh out of good colleges with copious amounts of student debt and then are released into a stunted economy. we are a generation that probably will not surpass its parental generation in wealth. the upward trajectory of middle-class america is being trod underfoot like a clumsy giant hurtling its way up a hill. we are battling questions of economic status and are reevaluating what equality means.

so the combination of these elements, the fat bank being a symbol of extreme consumer wastefulness, along with a disgruntled class of low-income people, and all the energy of a highly education, unemployed youth culture, is combining to make something powerful. i hope it's not fight clubs around the nation building bombs in the garages of credit institutions at night. but sometimes, that idea makes a lot more sense than some of the yahoos they've got on the republican presidential candidacy circuit.

chew on this while i pay tribute to the pixies and ask you, "did we learn NOTHING from fight club?"

orange alert

2011-08-30T17:46:00.001-07:00

men on high orange alert:

-gordon ramsey

-the situation

Nobody Knows

2011-08-27T15:10:00.000-07:00

I'm an avid listener of podcasts, two of my favorites being "Mormon Stories" and "Mormon Matters", produced by John Dehlin and Dan Wotherspoon. A few of their episodes have featured interviews with Darius Grey and Margaret Young, a team of active Mormons who have dedicated a lot of time and effort to telling the story of the black Mormon experience. They have chronicled this story from the first black members of the Church, all the way to the 1978 revelation allowing all worthy men to hold the priesthood, to current racial attitudes and barriers in the Church.

I bought a copy of their documentary, "Nobody Knows: The Untold Story of Black Mormons". Please watch the trailer here:

http://www.untoldstoryofblackmormons.com/trailer.html

I'm very excited to see this documentary. I am also anxious to have some more free time around Christmas to read the pair's novel trilogy: "Standing on the Promises", which chronicles the same issues.

the moth

2011-08-13T12:35:00.000-07:00

Great story and an interesting reminder that sometimes our own friends and families are more interesting than elusive celebrities.

Polygamous Heaven

2011-08-02T21:20:00.000-07:00

Broaching the topic of polygamy is very difficult for the Saints, especially the women. We feel so much pain in our hearts to hear this discussed. Our temple sealings also have implications for whether marriages will be polygamous in the celestial realm or not. Since the mainstream Church hasn't provided us with many answers on this, we are left to wonder. And hope against hope that after living a full life of service in the Church, we won't be asked to share our husbands.

After listening to some podcasts about current fundamentalist Mormon polygamy practices and post-manifesto polygamy practices in the early Church, it's no secret that polygamy is messy business. However, I felt less anguish in my heart about the issue after learning that many women who practice polygamy today live happy lives. Polygamous relationships can be abusive or healthy, just like monogamy. Now, I'm not saying that I want to become a polygamist or I will be okay with it in the next life. I'm just saying there are aspects to this lifestyle that I might not have considered: that some people live productive, happy and healthy lives in this system. And hey, if you're finding a way to attain that happiness, more power to you.

Many women worry that in order to attain celestial glory, they will have to take on polygamy in the spirit world. Here is my thought: I don't think we'll have to. The eternal principle of the gospel is free agency. Apparently, we fought a war in heaven over this issue. To me, that says that agency is an eternal principle. We have always had our agency to act and to choose to take on ordinances and covenants if we desired to. Are we strongly encouraged to go to the temple and get sealed in the temple? Of course. But no one in the Church is forcing you. You may have to deal with the weight of gossipy judgement, but those people are not living your day to day life.

If polygamy is like a kind of ordinance, then you don't have to participate if you don't want to. Will it cause differentiation between the Saints? It could. Maybe it could be something as not-so-subtle as Church callings: like you get the "good", highly visible callings if you're a polygamist. If that's the case, I am completely fine with the polygamists running themselves ragged while I spend some more quality time with my husband on our couch made of super-fine-matter or whatever it's supposed to be.

We experience a lot of pressure in the Church in regards to our family lives. If polygamy in heaven does exist, and our people are the same people they are today, it could be like other major transitions in our lives that other people feel they have an input in: like dating, marriage and childbirth. Everyone wants to see you happy and see who you will end up with, because it's just so exciting!! when that happens. Of course it is. But until you are ready for those blessed events, let's not rush things. I think of polygamy in heaven the way that I think of having a baby: it's no one's business but yours and your husband's. You make a decision as a couple and you stick with it. If anyone were to ask me why I don't have a baby right now, I'd say: "Oh, sounds like you're offering to pay for my rent or give me free child care, or wake up for me in the middle of the night when the baby cries. No, that's not what you're saying? Oh. Guess you'll have to wait a little bit longer for a baby outta me."

We're all about choices in the Church. Let's not forget that as we contemplate our futures.

charlotte bronte wisdom

2011-07-23T14:43:00.000-07:00

"Conventionality is not morality. Self-righteousness is not religion. To attack the first is not to assail the last. To pluck the mask from the face of the Pharisee, is not to lift an impious hand to the Crown of Thorns.

These things and deeds are diametrically opposed: they are as distinct as is vice from virtue. Men too often confound them: they should not be confounded: appearance should not be mistaken for truth; narrow human doctrines, that only tend to elate and magnify a few, should not be substituted for the world-redeeming creed of Christ. There is — I repeat it — a difference; and it is a good, and not a bad action to mark broadly and clearly the line of separation between them.

The world may not like to see these ideas dissevered, for it has been accustomed to blend them; finding it convenient to make external show pass for sterling worth — to let white-washed walls vouch for clean shrines. It may hate him who dares to scrutinise and expose — to rase the gilding, and show base metal under it — to penetrate the sepulchre, and reveal charnel relics: but hate as it will, it is indebted to him."

--Charlotte Bronte, in the preface to "Jane Eyre"

I keep thinking about how powerful those first sentences are and how much we need to remind ourselves that today.

another earth

2011-07-18T20:02:00.001-07:00

went to the movies twice this weekend. i probably should have been studying more. but i saw this preview both times and i can't stop thinking about this trailer.

testing, testing

2011-06-12T18:30:00.001-07:00

For the last few weeks, I've been researching graduate programs. I've narrowed my choices down to 3:

School Psychology
Education (Either Elementary Ed, Science Teaching, or ESL, or all)
Occupational Therapy

That means it's time to take some tests! The GRE and CBEST, specifically. I'm studying for the CBEST now and my goal is to take it and pass it!!!! in August.

Wish me luck.

"biutiful"

2011-06-04T00:37:00.000-07:00

When I heard an interview with Javier Bardem about this film, I was interested. Then I watched the trailer over and over on youtube and hulu and ached to see it in theatres. Unfortunately, we missed it, despite all our good efforts, but now it's finally on DVD and I just watched it through Netflix.

What an artistic achievement. The wait was totally worth it.

This film makes me think about what Americans, and Mormons, for that matter, like to get out of movies. I don't think this film went over as well with Americans because it wasn't glitzy or easy to swallow. The lead character, Uxbal, is very complex. He's a criminal, a hustler, someone who is potentially exploiting undocumented workers. On the other hand, we can see his efforts to try to make illegal immigrants' lives easier. Most of the characters in the film are not easy to love or hate instantly. They are all in difficult, gut-wrenching situations that makes you root for them, despite their setbacks and flaws.

I love films that open our eyes to a viewpoint we had never thought of. "Biutiful" is set in Barcelona. I wouldn't have recognized it from any tourist sites anyway, but this film shows us the real underworld of Barcelona that you wouldn't get from a travel guide. Imagine being a Chinese immigrant living in Spain, a European country that is in financial crisis right now. Imagine being on the lowest financial rung of that country, but your situation there is preferable to living in your home country, where there is absolutely no work, and much more instability and danger. What would you do? That is was "Biutiful" asks its audience again and again, and I come up short with my responses. Uxabel, however, is a very compelling, vulnerable and deep character to watch. Watch this movie.

It also made me think about the function of stories in our lives, especially in the media. Are stories supposed to be moral? Are we only supposed to absorb stories where the characters are in easy-to-define, easy-to-solve conflict? Are we supposed to learn from stories where are the characters are binary, black-and-white figures that are all good or all bad? Who is more inspiring to you, a person who never makes mistakes and always comes out on top, or the underdog who struggles? I guess I didn't phrase that question in a very fair way. I guess what I find inspiring in "Biutiful", another person could easily find depressing and uninteresting. I found the conflicts in "Biutiful" to be fascinating, however. I wanted to watch Uxbel travel throughout his story, and for it to never end.

insurance

2011-05-01T17:14:00.000-07:00

daily life can be tough. i get up at 4am to be at work by 6am. i spend my workday hoping that my time there will get me into better opportunities, in a better position when i finish my home-study medical transcription classes. with my mode of transportation being the public bus, my days are long.

but i study on the bus. sometimes i work on my novel. when i get home, i relax by chatting with my husband and read my mormon feminist blog. i study for a few hours, and sometimes squeeze in cleaning the kitchen. often, the clean clothes spend a few days on the floor before the make it to their hangers after getting washed. often dinner consists of warming up soup or simply making the same thing i ate for lunch. if cole is craving something specific, he will cook. i do basic cleaning on saturdays.

i've come to realize that for my family to achieve greater financial success, it's going to take a lot of hours from both of us. i may never be a full-time stay-at-home-mom (SAHM). even with a medical transcription certification in the near future, i will probably have to go to graduate school to earn better money and enjoy flexibility in scheduling and good health benefits. that i won't have to compete for low-paying administrative jobs with the masses. all that on top of the intellectual gifts given to me recently: ideas for novels that keep begging for attention and i feel compelled to write on a very deep level. gifts that feel spiritual and intellectual. when will i find the time for them? am i going to need to study spanish to be truly competitive in los angeles?

sometimes i feel angry at myself. why did i study a humanities degree? why didn't i understand what a struggle it would be years later? people warned me. why didn't i heed their advice? i simply was not that kind of person back then. and i am simply not the kind of person that can be happy working a job that didn't match me well. this year has been evident of that.

so whenever or however i had to learn that lesson, i'm learning it. this time is a time of earning insurance. insurance for if our plans don't work out too well and being a full-time SAHM wouldn't have worked out for us anyway. insurance is expensive, and i'm paying it by the hour. there's the full-time job, there's the commute, there's the studying, and the hours of my heart hoping and working for something better.

Our Muslim Sisters

2011-04-03T20:45:00.000-07:00

Name this quote:

“In the world today, there is a competition for people’s minds, and what we think, what we wear, what we look like; it’s an ideological battle as much as anything else.”

Did you think it came from our most recent General Conference? If it feels familiar, it’s because it’s close to home, but not in a geographical way. This particular story is unfolding halfway around the world. The above quote came from Muslim feminist and journalist Asra Nomani, with her interview with BBC on March 28th. She was being asked to reflect on Cosmo’s new launch of the Arab version of its magazine next month. It was so interesting to her that Cosmo was so blatantly launching its magazine around the same time Al-Queida—yes, you read that right, the terrorist organization—published its own magazine, called Al-Shamika, or Majestic Woman in English.

The contents of each magazine are the complete antithesis of each other. While Cosmo hasn’t been released yet, we know what the Western versions of the magazine contain. Will it receive a warm welcome in the Arab world? Perhaps. There is some concern about the content of the magazine: the sex, most particularly. But a few women in the streets of Arab cities reported they might read it. Unreported in the BBC interview is the reaction of Muslim women to Al-Quieda’s publication, which is actually available online!!!! Anyone can browse it here!!!

http://ia600403.us.archive.org/1/items/AlshamikhaMagazine/AlshamikhaM.pdf

Since I don’t read or even speak Arabic, I can only tell you what I heard about the different topics. There are articles on skin care, marrying Mr. Right, raising sons to become good jihadists, choosing lipsticks you can wear in the privacy of your home and for the pleasure of your husband. Are you looking? Head scarves are also mentioned, reportedly. Don’t forget my personal favorite, page 9, where a machine gun is set on a pretty pink background, next to an image of pen and paper. Maybe the message is telling women to write their jihadists while they’re away at training camps?

Asra Nomani said something else in her BBC interview that blew me away: “There really is a battle for not just the hearts and minds of women in the Arab and Muslim world, but also their bodies.” She reflected how these two magazines, polar opposites of each other, really represented the various ideologies women are pulled into. A woman who chooses to cover her face as a personal choice is an extension of her religion. But, she is as much an extension of an ideology as is a woman who meticulously follows designer brands. In the midst of all this, what can Islamic women do for themselves? So many other issues are tied up in it: love, sex, and even personal safety.

This interview gave me chills. I thought, replace “Muslim” with “Mormon” in this context, and you get a picture of the struggle of Mormon women. We are trying to figure out how to live in the world, but not be of the world. Since childhood, Mormon women are taught the virtues of modesty, chastity and marriage. Mormon women struggle with finding clothing that matches the expression of their individual personality, as well as their religious beliefs. In Young Women’s and Relief Society, we are taught to not get ideas on sexuality from mainstream media. Many faithful women in the Church struggle with ways to find their own personal identity and sense of pride in families and Church callings that demand all of their time.

I was greatly moved by Asra Nomani’s interview and very interested in her work as a Muslim feminist. She has published several interesting documents including “Islamic Bill of Rights for Women in the Mosque” and “Islamic Bill of Rights for Women in the Bedroom.” You can read what these Bill of Rights say on Wikipedia. I found it interesting that another religious group of women are experiencing the same struggles Mormon women are, just in a different spiritual language and cultural context. What do you think about all this? How do should Mormon women help out in the fight to have women’s rights be dignified, at home and around the globe?

it was justified

2011-03-18T15:31:00.000-07:00

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above is the opening credits to one of my new favorite tv shows, "justified." we saw the first dvd of the first season on netflix and i haven't been able to get this song out of my head since.

i like this show because i like stories about the south. the characters have a strong sense of kinship and identity with place, which tends to get lost in a lot of modern stories. i love the southern drawl, the relaxed feel of the people. i like how the themes tend to be really big-picture, life-and-death situations. i've been really into crime fiction lately, but i also enjoy people who don't sweat the small stuff: in life and literature.

plus, this show is based on a series of short stories written in the 19th century. it's taking a western format, and a cowboy lead character, and putting it in our modern times. i love that. there are even horses in the credits. maybe i'm also feeling the spirit of ancestral kinship when watching it because i have ancestry linking me to the backwoods of kentucky, where these stories are set.

anyway, watch the video and go see the show. prepare to want to justify criminals in a 10-block radius of your neighborhood.

10 year old opinions

2011-03-15T21:01:00.000-07:00

Last Sunday I taught my 10 and 11- year old Valiant Sunday School Students about prayer. One of the big points of the lesson was the importance of not using vain repetitions in prayer. Of praying sincerely.

Now, there are some blessings that I pray for every day. These blessings are not vain repetitions to me. For instance, I have a brother who was recently deployed overseas to Afghanistan. He is not in combat. But the other day he emailed me about a rocket going off half a mile away from his base. Um, yikes? Could you make your family and friends any more nervous? For this reason, my hubby and I pray for his safe return home daily. To me, that is not a vain repetition, and I wanted to make this point to my class. So I explained about my brother in Afghanistan who had recently been deployed and how we pray for him.

Cole thinks it was the words "deployed" and "Afghanistan" that set off a sudden torrent of opinion-spouting from the students. They ranged from anti-war peace-nic sentiments to rhetoric in defense of war. Even the quietest kid in class had a surprisingly articulate theory to tell Cole. He was saying something about how security contractors are dragging out the conflicts in order to stay in business. I was surprised and amused by this: an unexpected burst of impassioned energy about political questions in Sunday School. All this brought on by mere mention of a soldier brother and how I pray for him.

I was reminded of an interview I heard on NPR's "Fresh Air" program with a war correspondent. I forget the journalist's name, but he has shadowed Marines for several years throughout the nastiest of conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan. I was particularly interested in his interview because of his observations of Marines--OORAH!--because I have a Marine in the family. The war correspondant's most poignant observation for me was his comment on how people in the States talk about the war. People living comfortably in metropolitan areas in the States love to bemoan the crimes against humanity during any wartime. But the real face of this war are a bunch of young guys and gals from small towns in Minnesota, Maine, Georgia. People who struggle to support young families or build a future for themselves through military benefits. Young folks who wanted to make a difference and do something meaningful, and chose to sacrifice a lot and go to war. That is the face of this war. The faces of these young folks struggling to help people who live in fear and dire poverty. That is the face of my brother, a young man with a mature spirit who felt compelled to serve in the military from a very very young age.

Now, don't read think and think I'm a right-wing nut job. I'm not. I'm a centrist. I'm just saying that it's easy for us who stay home and discuss the war over dinner at restaurants, and get overly critical about policy and political ideals. This really hit close to home when I saw a class full of very young children spout their ideas about war policy. I'm not saying these kids don't have a right to express their opinions. I'm glad they're exercising their minds and thinking critically. That's an important skill. I'm reminded of President Obama, whose political campaigns in the '08 election was to bring the troops home and turn out everyone in Guantanemo Bay. Has that happened? Mmmm. Not really. No. Did he lie to the American people when he ran for President, and intentionally drag out these headaches longer than he promised to? I doubt it.

There's just so much about war, and social issues, and conflicts in general, that my 10 year old students don't know. And there's so much that I don't know.

There's just so much that all of us don't know.

the nature of conflict

2011-02-24T18:16:00.000-08:00

recently i decided to try my hand at writing a novel. while i have an idea, i have never written a novel before, or even taken a creative writing class. i'm undeterred. writing is a craft: you can learn the elements of a good story, but it is through the process of creating a story that you learn how to make a good story. so far, i've drawn out some characters, and have been reading material on how to create an interesting plot with fascinating characters.

one of my research books is called "The Art of Dramatic Writing!" (yes, that's with an exclamation point). it explores how to create a three-dimensional character, and pinpoint a character's motives and weaknesses, so you'll be able to tease out the most fascinating conflict possible for the story.

it is through conflict that story characters change and grow. in a solid, worthwhile story, characters move from one pole to another. for instance, hatred to love and compassion. perfect example: in schiendler's list, schiendler was introduced to us as a selfish, exploitive womanizer, who made business decisions only for the financial betterment of his company. he opened his heart to the plight of the jewish people while the nazis came under power, and became a compassionate man that saved hundreds, maybe even thousands, of lives. the power in his personality and character was his ability to manipulate nazis to play into his demands, which saved the lives of polish jews. it's a powerful story--true story--and beautifully demonstrates the nature of CONFLICT in stories. it is gut-wrenching, sweat-inducing conflict that makes the most dramatic, and powerful stories. stories that edify people and inspire them to live better.

now, here is my problem in writing this novel. my main character is mormon. my goal is to show a mormon woman who is experiencing the level of conflict that could obliterate her faith. where her relationship with her religion is giving her pain as well as peace. i hope i can live up to this task. it is a challenge because there are no mormon novels that i know of where a mormon's faith is delicate, or a mormon family is being torn apart. i think this is because it is difficult for mormons to admit to others that they are struggling. that there are times when we don't know whether to sit through the sunday school lesson that pains or hearts, or to walk out. we certainly don't want to give a bad impression to the "outside world" of nonmormons.

but isn't it time that mormon art reflected a little bit more authenticity, a little more transparency? mormons are under fire in the public eye. there was prop 8, there was the endowment ceremony shown on "big love", and the broadway musical made by the south park guys. there is glenn beck who makes centrists and liberals and many rational right-wingers cringe. it's time to show the world some more diversity in mormon life. and part of that diversity is putting the complex inner life of a mormon--even a fictional one--on display.

women's lives, women's voices

2011-02-06T20:40:00.000-08:00

I have mentioned on here that I am new to Mormon feminism, but boy howdy, I am glad that I'm here. Yesterday I attending the loveliest of conferences for Mormon women. The theme of the talk was "Women's Lives, Women's Voices", and many women with exceptional credentials in academia shared their hopes and dreams for the lives of Mormon women.

The location of the conference was Claremont Graduate University, a divinity school, and the only school with a Mormon chair and a Mormon studies program. The Mormon chair is newly filled by a man who is a graduate of both BYU and Notredam, and spent three years in Cairo, Egypt.

I was enthralled to hear Aileen Clyde, former 2nd Counselor to the General Relief Society, speak on her experience in law. She was part of a Utah committee that spent a year studying the affects of gender-bias attitudes in law, especially in workplace law. Several other women, most with postgraduate degrees, gave papers on their topics of study relating to Mormon woman. These women are working on a project of recording and transcribing the stories of Mormon women. The aim of these goals is to get Mormon women to share their stories so we can have a greater understanding and appreciation of the struggles and joys of the Mormon woman life. Not only to be studied in the academic realm, but for Mormon women to learn from each other. As part of this project, they asked every woman in attendance to share a short story. I can talk more about the story I shared later.

I was fascinated to hear a Mormon woman, Emily Clyde Curtis, talk about her experience of going to divinity school and working as a chaplain in trauma units in a hospital in Boston. She urges all women to share their stories, because our understanding of women in the scriptures, and in Church history, isn't very sophisticated or nuanced. For example, look at Emma Smith. How much does the average Church member know about her, or can appreciate the trials she went through? I certainly don't know as much about her as I'd like to. If Emma had recorded her personal history, we would probably have a better picture of Emma as a whole person, and not just in a black and white way.

There were several other talks and topics I found so pertinent, necessary, and revelatory. I'll discuss more of these talks in future posts. But the conference was simply thrilling for me for many reasons: to be able to see other Mormon women making great efforts and strides towards collecting and legitimizing Mormon woman history in the academic and public realms, and to meet some great women as well.

Anyhow, I am excited to tell my readers more about this conference in upcoming posts. Have a happy week, friends.

thigh envy

2011-01-26T21:11:00.000-08:00

i'm envious of other women's thighs. well, i should clarify.

i'm watching a stand-up of eddie izzard and dang it if he doesn't have better thighs than me.

sigh.

a filmmaker's wife

2011-01-19T15:40:00.000-08:00

i am a filmmaker's wife. my husband is a graduate student in film production. for the past few weeks he has been working as an assistant editor for a lifetime movie. he gets to assistant edit all night, like 12 plus hours a night, for five times a week.

that's serious stuff, and it means that i've been spending much more time alone lately. i have plenty of things to do, like studying, cleaning, writing, exercising, crafting, reading. but it's not the same without your sweetheart to help fill the empty space and the quiet noise. going to toastmasters, when there is parking available.

nothing is more fortifying than a kind embrace and a snuggle from your loved one.

old married lady rant

2011-01-11T18:47:00.000-08:00

The "old married lady" the title I'm referring to is moi. Recently I've been following blogs on Mormon thought, including one Feminist Mormon Housewives. I also like reading my friend Jendar's blog quite a bit: she's always fresh, lovely and fun. Both of these blogs posted an article in the NY Times about a single Mormon woman's love life! How exciting! Link is below:

Single, Female, Mormon, Alone

Many people have many things to say on this article. It's about a Mormon woman who is single, and has remained a virgin until her mid-30s when she goes into Planned Parenthood for the check up for her first time. I'm guessing she's writing this essay because she was a single lady when she was getting ready for doing the deed, as a single lady. I myself have many thoughts on the article.

I’m glad forums like this exist because it helps members of the Church understand each other better. It helps nonmembers understand what goes in Mormons' heads when we make complicated choices like staying celibate for over 30 years. And we really need understanding when there is so much pain going around.

I felt for this woman because being single in the Church was so difficult for me. I had many a night where I cried to my parents: “I don’t think I can handle being single in the Church much longer!" I had a night on the eve of my 23rd birthday where I had a crying meltdown in my car. I called a hotline to talk to someone because I was in so much pain. I was about to turn 23, which just seemed so damn old to be without a ring in Utah. The pretty 22-and-under girls at work were married. I felt like a pariah to my religion because I was "old", alone, and my old boyfriend had gone on to seriously date a 19 year old girl.

However, I stuck it out and found a lovable, scruffy, happy, energetic Mormon man. We were married and sealed in Seattle temple. I was 25, he 26. I'm very grateful that we decided to wait for physical intimacy for many reasons. The first I'm going to say isn't because our temple sealing is such a wonderful blessing, though it is.

What I want to point out first is that sex is awkward the first goes around. I'm really glad that I was with my husband and we had already signed the deal to stick it out together before we had that experience. It's emotional and you are vulnerable. Plus, I'm more emotional and vulnerable than your average bear. When I broke up with my old boyfriend, I think I mentioned how devastated I was. I learned later that your brain gets chemically wired to be emotionally dependent on the person you're sleeping with. Sex produces such chemicals and emotions. I'm glad I waited for the right person for those chemical bonds to take place in me, because it helped keep me more level-headed about subsequent breakups until I started dating my husband.

I'm also glad I waited for Cole because it's really great to share your spiritual side with someone. Though Cole and I aren't the most orthodox Mormons out there, we can share our spiritual ride together and understand each other. It feels like being in the same cart on a roller coaster. And I'm appreciative to our temple sealing because though I don't understand everything about eternal life, I like feeling that Cole and I have a shot at staying married in the next life. That's why my plan worked for me.

That being said, I also want to say that Mormon men experience a lot of confusion and difficulty as well during their bachelor years. I think the statistic is 90% of single LDS men leave the church after age 30 because they’re frustrated and disillusioned. That number is powerful. And there seems to be a vilification of LDS men who aren't dating. That's not helpful either.

I think Mormons need to have a revolution on how we socialize and talk to each other. We don’t talk to each other in our church meetings at a heart-to-heart level like that personal NYT essay. Ever. Mormon socializing is so difficult because we have such high expectations of ourselves, and of others.

We need to figure out how to deal with differences in personality and religious observance with more elegance and nuance instead of writing each other off as “not spiritual enough” or “too church-y for me.” How many people have heard the story of the young man who stopped dating his girlfriend because she didn’t take out her second earring during his prescribed timetable for her? We’ve got to stop talking like that and start sharing stories about how we GRACEFULLY handle socializing, dating, compromising, and living together in this life with harmony.

I'm married, so for the sake of being graceful, I'm not going to rant about what people need to do in order to get married because I know that's annoying. And not everyone wants to spend the same amount of energy on dating that I did when I was single.

But when I think about how nonmembers meet each other, or get to know each other, it's usually through casual things. Conversations over drinks, or coffee. Mormons don't drink those things, but how hard is it to invite someone for a hot chocolate, or dessert, or a boba tea and a chat? Mormons relax through doing things like service projects or games. We need to start sharing things about ourselves as well: start listening, and stop judging so harshly.

and into 2011

2011-01-08T19:54:00.000-08:00

last year i started a new life by driving to a new city with my new fiance. i got a new job, took public transportation to work, and spent a lot of time thinking about wedding plans, exercise, gay rights, and how soon i could quit my job.

it's another new year. i'm in a new apartment from 2010, but in the same city, still taking public transportation, and happily with the same man. i'm done with weddings but not with figuring out how to exercise with all these other demands on my time. my questions about gay rights have also included new questions about feminism and how to develop my talents, and how to balance all of this as a married lady. i still think about how soon i can quit my job, and i also think about how much i need to be studying my medical terminology course so i can quit my current job and get a new one and hopefully not have to take the bus 2 hours a day.

the courses we set for ourselves don't always work in our own timetables. some women bounce around diets, men, and cities. and i certainly have done my fair share of wandering. but it's a new year, and even though i feel very much the same person: albeit a little chubbier, with longer, darker hair, creative forces have come to my brain and i feel the excitement and pressure of new change just as much as old pressures used to tax me.

holiday prepping

2010-09-13T21:04:00.000-07:00

as i noted on my facebook status yesterday, "we're fast approaching the time of year where i become obsessed with martha stewart."

i admit it, i'm a domestic, girly-girl. i love the holidays, and i love decorating for them. i love halloween especially, because i love dressing up. luckily i married an artistic, theatrical man who enjoys it as much as i do. a few weekends ago, we were invited to a costume party for the graduate film school. the theme was "superheros." i fretted and fussed about it for the week prior, gentling prodding Cole with suggestions. friday night, the eve before party time, we're shopping in Target, when he goes, "i've got it, Megan. homeless super heros."

and that's what we did. we gathered our costume materials: superman t-shirts from hollywood blvd., red heels from the stripper/transvestite store, makeshift capes from baby blankets found at beverly hills goodwill. the beverly hills goodwill is the best goodwill in the world. the most ritzy, glamorous people on the planet naturally have the best cast-offs. (thank you, celebrities, for thinking of us less wealthy people, especially when we need to go to costume parties.) a white collared t-shirt, a red teddy ripped up and dusted with dirt make-up completed the clothing. cardboard boxes from the recent move were in abundance, as were political undertones of poverty and homelessness, 2010 edition. now just to spray-paint Cole's hair black and make my hair a ratted mess. ta da!!

we really enjoyed the party. people in los angeles are naturally theatrical, to say nothing of filmies. the graduate students really got into their costumes. these fellows above us had been planning their costumes for weeks. the only place to get such a costume was a store in England, and they both ordered it. another lady had been carefully gluing individual leafs to herself in preparation for her debut as poison ivy. i was impressed with the efforts, and grateful that i'm married and mormon and boring and not expected to show up in the skin-tight leather catsuit some girl was walking around in.

but the holidays are just beginning. i've got a line of halloween decoration projects i'm coveting, a halloween costume to put together, houseguests to look forward to. my brother austin is coming to visit next month. we want to take him to knott's berry farm. there are options: the general park, or the best halloween event on the planet? after taking a look at knott's "scary farm" website, i'm not so sure i can handle it.

i'm squeamish when it comes to horror movies. last year at universal studios, i clung to Cole throughout most the evening. i am easy prey for actors in freaky makeup with an imposing posture. do you know what i mean? google knott's scary farm and you'll get an idea of my hesitancy. the website was enough to make my skin crawl.

en addition, i ventured into the halloween club store close to work today. i couldn't keep away. i had to see the decorations, the lines of glittery accessories, and smirk at the selection of sex outfits for grown women that will pass as costumes in thousands of bars this year. and yet, though i was there at 4:30 in the afternoon, the afternoon bright and inviting, no sinister music playing in the background, i still get a little freaked by the mechanical jason that shifts as i exit the store.

let's hope i survive saturday's showing of "night of the living dead" in a cemetery.

much love,

mr cole & mrs megs

mr & mrs manager

2010-08-14T19:29:00.000-07:00

we are now living rent-free in koreatown.

cole & i became resident managers at an apartment complex in koreatown, a neighborhood in east LA. white people are few and far between, but we're excited about our free apartment with new hardwood floors, granite-counter-top kitchen, and two bedroom/two bath. we have a small balcony and just got some plants to add. korean bbq places are EVERYWHERE, which is great because that happens to be cole's favorite food group.

it's great news, and after a trying month that included night classes 3 times a week, interviews, doctor's appointments, moving, cleaning, and endless boxes, it's really nice to relax and enjoy the place.

it's nice to have a new place, because it's beautiful, and something to look forward to each day. unfortunately, my financial aid situation is still difficult to go back to school, so i must wait another semester. that is trying. i really long and ache to return to school to work on a nursing degree, after sloughing through a terrible job market last year, and feeling stuck in an unsatisfying job this year. i know it could be a lot worse, and i have a lot to be thankful for, so i dare not complain. it's just something i am dealing with.

in happier news, though, i just cleared all the boxes out of our bedroom today. it looks like i will get to color my hair after church tomorrow instead of doing 7 loads of laundry like i did last week. and "scott pilgram vs. the world", "eat pray love" and "the other guys" are all in theatres, and all look worth watching. i have a souffle dish so i can make one for sunday dinner.

life really is good.

the "i'm with stupid" awards

2010-07-11T15:17:00.000-07:00

last night on msnbc.com, there was an article on mel gibson's mistress seeking legal protection because she was afraid her boyfriend would hurt her. because mel gibson is crazy.

this article, along with 2010's disturbing trend of The Other Woman Making Millions, prompted me to start something that i'd like your input on: the "i'm with stupid" award.

the "i'm with stupid" award is distinction reserved for women who sleep with "stupid" : aka, a married celebrity. stupid is the male celebrity who sleeps around. thus, "i'm with stupid" is the woman who ACCEPTS the sexual proposition of a married celebrity.

i mean, HELLO MCFLY! it could be that i'm so chalk full of wacko-christian-right doctrine that i really don't understand how an arrangement like this can occur. what motivates a woman to sleep with a married celebrity? i really don't think it has anything to do with love or respect. i think it's probably something more to do with greed, selfishness, ADDICTION and an all-consuming hunger to become FAMOUS once the affair gets out in the open.

now, i don't think that mel gibson's girlfriend deserves what she got, and it's not cool that she's fearing for her life and safety. i'm just hoping that her and tons of other women are looking inward and saying, "i'm NEVER going to sleep with a married man, especially especially ESPECIALLY if it's a high-profile, powerful, A-list celebrity who has a history of anti-semitism and violence. i'm going to look for dating options that are more APPROPRIATE instead of looking for a rich and UNSTABLE SUGAR DADDY." HELLO MCFLY, how hard is it to do a GOOGLE or WIKI search to see if the man is still married.

what BOGGLES my mind is that the media is EATING UP these ladies and putting them into REALLY SWEET JOBS! please see this month's issue of glamour. One of Jesse James's tattooed other women, Michelle "Bombshell" McGee, was offered a $500-an-hour modeling contract. Rachel Uchitel, a nightclub exec, received $10 MILLION after her affair. The swimsuit model Jamie Jungers won $75k in a beauty contest. Who'd these ladies sleep with? Oh, how about TIGER WOODS. and that beauty contest? the other contestants were ALL TEAM TIGER MISTRESSES.

i'm not done yet. ex-call girl Ashley Dupre was Eliot Spitzer's other woman. now, she's got an appearance on THE VIEW and is an advice columnist on THE NEW YORK POST! does she even have any journalism training????

i'm so SICK of it!! i'd like to hear your opinions on the matter and get your nominations for the "i'm with stupid" award. and i'd love to see the use and abuse of the CAPS LOCK, just like i've done.

sincerely,

mrs. meg

ps. i'm going to start posting on my "virgin lips" blog again about mocktails. please visit: www.virginlipsproject.blogspot.com

smug marrieds

2010-07-06T23:08:00.000-07:00

oh no! i feel that my wonderful hubby and i have become a smug married couple.

i tried to find the clip from "bridget jones diary" where she goes to the dinner party with all the smug married couples, and she gets subjected to all the dating advice from the smug married couples.

and, after bestowing advise and/or inquiring about 3 singles friends dating lives in as many days, i think i qualify as an--oh no!--smug married couple that my single friends can't relate to anymore and get irked by.

to any single friends that i have shot well-meaning but poorly timed dating advise to--please come back to me! i love you and only dispense advice because i hope to see you happily married someday soon, because marriage is a great institution.

it's riddled with great moments where your significant other may spontaneously burst into dance to this song:

ps DO check out the book "the girl with the dragon tattoo." the protagonist heroine, i firmly believe, will one day be in a cult film called lisbeth vs. laura croft, and angelina jolie and noomi rapace will duke it out until only one is standing. i'm listening to the book on mp3, and it's deliciously long enough to take several days of work to get through. and, it's so interesting and exciting that i hardly notice the time go by. do it!

chez nous

2010-07-01T20:26:00.000-07:00

at our house there's lots of sleeping in, lots of talking about podcasts, and lots of netflix.

and lots of "sunny in philadelphia."

meggy crocker

2010-05-16T19:19:00.000-07:00

as a wedding gift, i received a betty crocker "heart healthy" edition cookbook. in the spirit of the movie "julie & julia", i've decided to cook through this book---once a week. i don't really have the grocery budget, or the desire to do an enormous amount of cooking everyday like in "julie & julia", but i loved that adoreable movie and thought it was a really great idea. so look for sunday dinner "meggy crocker" blogs about the recipes, the tastes, and the challenges.

another aspect that's appealing about betty crocker is that it brings to mind another interest i've been having lately: pinups from the 40s and 50s. i'm digging it as an art form, and thinking that learning to draw some pinups could really be fun.

this weekend indulged me in some baking: i was nostalgic for a cake that an old roommate used to make us. she called it "better than sex" cake or "score" cake as a euphemism, and it also works because the recipe calls for 3-4 crushed skor bars as a topping. so i made the cake last night, reveled in the memories, and the calories, and am now thinking i'd better make some fast friends to get rid of the cake if i don't want the whole thing to show up on my hips next week. my favorite memory of this cake involves the home teachers that my roommates and i had at the time. they were very funny guys, took their calling very seriously. one home teacher wore his hair kind of long and wore a leather fanny pack that he called a "bum bag" and said trendy men were wearing them in england, where he served his mission. when this cake was served to him, he said, "i'm giving this to my new wife on my wedding night and telling her this is what you get."

hit me up for score cake recipe, it's actually pretty easy.

xoxoxo, mrs. megs

me & my lovie here in LA

2010-05-04T18:39:00.000-07:00

it's been forever since i've written. now that the wedding's over, most of the thank you notes are sent out, and cole's finals are winding down, i feel like i have some time to write and some space to breathe.

cole & i live in a two-bedroom apartment close to the culver city area. there are lots of great restaurants within walking distance, and sony pictures studio is also within walking distance, come to think. there are trader joes and ross galore. most nights though, we're heavy into netflix or the wii. with the weather improving, we should be getting out more.

we are nursery leaders in our new ward. we have about a dozen boisterous little babies. thankfully, there are lots of other adults to help out with nursery. the rowdy kids take to cole like a duck to water. he is just the outlet they are looking for: someone who will let them be playful, active and silly.

we were also asked to give talks in sacrament recently. i hate public speaking, it is my worst fear, but i've done some work with it and i prayed for a lot of help with the talk, and actually delivered it and finished it! it was a real personal triumph for me. cole is really good at talking off the top of his head, so he wrote his in sacrament meeting while we stood on the stand. i'm glad he's the one going into the industry that demands sheer confidence in oneself and giving thank you presentations, and not me!

i'm preparing to return to school for nursing. i'm still unsure of my class load, as i work full time right now and haven't gotten financial aid completely set up. but a few classes at a time would be great. my current job is pretty boring. i don't interact with other people very much, which i'd like to do more of. so to pass the time i've been listening to tons of podcasts and audiobooks. have some great freebie recommendations for anyone interested.

we somehow wound up with two subscriptions to rolling stone magazine this year. i'm kind of a mag junkie so i of course revel in it, but so far rolling stone has yet to feature any sexy women on the cover. the only people to not have their shirt off was eric clapton with jeff beck, who are british guitar gods in their 60s. but otherwise, it's been full of shirtless men, and cole doesn't like it, and i find that cute and i'm also surprised that R.S. hasn't found any women to feature. on the other hand, women are on the covers of hundreds of other magazines so i'm OK if R.S. is trying to claim some territory for masculinity. oh wait, the cast of glee was on it, and the brunette chick's skirt was flying up. OK. i stand corrected. but this issue it's robert downey jr.

so anyhow. other thoughts from me are that i've decided to do some more writing. i have a few ideas, and not enough time to tackle them all at once. i want to do more creative writing, more drawing, more exercising, and more studying! it sounds terribly nerdy but after working lots of jobs that aren't intellectually stimulating, i feel it's time to return to school for some job skills, and some mental stimulation!

xoxoxo,

mrs. megs

...then comes marriage!

2010-03-25T17:49:00.000-07:00

cole & i tied the knot on st patty's day. our rings fancy celtic love knots.

i LOVE married life because i'm just crazy about my adorable husband.

pictures to come, my dears. thanks for all the love & support.

much love, toastings, and cheers,

mrs. megan

countdown!!

2010-02-17T23:26:00.001-08:00

In one month from today, about this time, I will be a new Mrs.

COUNTDOWN!!!!! 28.......

first comes love

2009-12-01T22:56:00.000-08:00

then comes marriage!! we're engaged!

if only fools fall in love...

2009-10-29T23:31:00.000-07:00

.....then i must be a pretty big one.

.....but i am also one of the happiest people alive......

..........and a terribly lucky girl........

....because life feels like love, everyday, all the time.

I love you Cole. xoxoxo, Miss Megan

to do list

2009-10-20T21:59:00.000-07:00

~as of 10PM on 10/20/09.........

* practice, study and pass NNAAP (National Nurse Aide Assessment Program) test on Saturday.
*work at eye center, monday-friday
*workout four times between now and this Saturday evening.
*prepare meals for the next day
*pack for weekend w/ wuver cole.man. in LA for 10/30 -- 11/2
*possibly babysit Saturday night
*workout 4 - 5 X following week
*scriptures and spiritual study, everyday.
*buy a special cord i'm missing for my bulk USB port to work and my computer can stop having anxiety attacks about low disc space.
*toastmasters: write a speech to give in two weeks, practice, esp in speech therapy
*update and up-hip blog.
*recolor hair, bleach teeth (eg: weekend wiff wuver man)
*actively control and creatively direct energy and lust for new clothes and boots into one new pair of jeans.
*start hinting and suggesting to parents that all i need for christmas is a killer pair of low-heeled, leather boots.
*stalk postmen in case my blue beehive wig doesn't arrive in WA in time for me to wear to the office on 10/30, buy backup plan at Walmart. actively restrict and direct energy and lust for crazy costume eyelashes into one other pair.
*dinner with h.s. b.f. kerri next thursday. bring side dish to share and something that will make her little boys love me like some halloween crafty things at the dollar store.
*oh yeah. eat.

and lastly......dum duh DA!!!!!!!!

*upload this song unto itunes and share with amigos, amis, and pung-yos:

i'm so friggin' happy i could pop

2009-09-24T14:56:00.000-07:00

it's been awhile since i've posted. there are several good reasons for that. my life has taken a lot of twists and turns the past few months, but i feel that my life is in a very good place currently.

since my last post, i've gone through a torrent in regards to employment. back in may, i was hired as a preschool teacher at an early intervention center. the plan was for the center to open in either late june or early july. well, after several stressful delays, the center finally opened the last week of july. it was stressful for me, and all involved, as i watched my savings deplete and actively went between deciding if i should find new work or just hold on until the center opened. i was very tense and anxious for several weeks and even had a panic attack after a job interview which turned out to be a sales position, and i realized this in the middle of the interview.

finally, i was good to go as a teacher at the early intervention preschool. i was excited about the job and worked hard to conceal the anxiety i had felt towards the job and the company for the past several weeks. i did what i thought was the best i could do, given the directions i had been given and the expectations of the company. i didn't even finish out a full two weeks when i was fired. they weren't pleased with the way i lead classroom activities and some of the safety guidelines were not being followed carefully enough, they said.

yikes.

but this post is not about struggle. this post is about triumph. a few weeks later, i started an intensive 3-week course towards becoming a certified nursing assistant. though science is not my strong point, i knew that cna's were in demand, and the opportunity to get a lot of hours were possible. after a challenging three weeks for me, i completed the course successfully. my last day of class, i was offered a job with the eye center company that my youngest brother worked for as a records clerk. the pay and the hours are the same as the preschool job, and the commute is much better, and i have more confidence in the company.

i'm very happy. i'm happy to have this job, i'm happy to have completed my cna course. i'm happy to be with my boyfriend, cole, who i'm currently visiting in los angeles. he makes me very happy and smiley. i'm very grateful for the aid that heavenly father, my family and my friends have given me the past few months to help sustain me through this period of dry employment. life feels very delicious.

love you all.

xo, megs.

2009-07-05T15:09:00.000-07:00

i recently had my 25th birthday. my friends, with whom i made a short film for a ysa film contest, helped make it special.

we've become a little family, these friends and i, and i'm really grateful for their company. i'm also grateful for the friendship and attention of a friend whose charms have nursed a serious crush, and it's all i can do to not jeapordize my safety or standing with the law to get to los angeles. had i not been so ill this 4th of july, i would have spent it working a fair if one of those stands would have had me, or walked around dressed as cupid with a donation jar and a shirt saying "donations for a heartsick fool to see her crush" or something like that.

but anyway.

it's their friendships that has helped make life sweet and enjoyable, as the job situation is nothing short of aggravating. i was offered employment at an early intervention center as a teacher for a year, but as the place is just opening and the development is very raw, the opening has been delayed for over a month. worse things have happened in the grand scheme of employment, but to someone who is trying to make some major decisions on returning to school, paying off the *%#@ credit card, etc, etc, etc, a month makes a pretty big difference.

i'm 25 and it's probably time to get serious about this career stuff. and that's what i'm doing. i just need a few months of income from full-time work to get this debt behind me, and then i'm moving forward with educational pursuits.

i'm also figuring that it's time for me to do some major physical feat as well, like running a marathon or something like that. the idea of running that much isn't that appealing, so we'll have to figure something out that's equally monumental but a little more enjoyable for me than running that much. any suggestions????

the things i know

2009-05-05T21:57:00.000-07:00

1. i don't know what kind of job i want that will help me get to the next phase of life.

2. i'm lonely. send me a date, please.

3. about $600 is all i need to pay off a damn credit card.

4. utah isn't looking so bad again. can i live there???

team budget.

2009-04-13T23:05:00.000-07:00

the problem with a budget is that it just isn't sexy enough.

that's why our economy is in the pits, folks. because our public view of team budget is of the sickly-pale, 90-lbs weaklings that play with Eewok figurines instead of friends.

team credit, on the other hand, is full of glamorous and dramatic people like, i'm guessing, lindsey lohan, paris hilton, snoop dogg, wesley snipes. people who are dramatic and glamorous and, yes, also very messy in terms of a public view.

we need budgets, or at least people who budget, who have ripped abs, designer clothes, and fake tans. or at least someone with a presence and a commanding voice. like dave ramsey! or... the new boss on "the office." right??

~flame.

2009-04-12T21:52:00.000-07:00

love burns inside of me.

new celebrity crush

2009-04-05T19:48:00.001-07:00

for some inexplicable reason, i have a crush on SNL player andy samberg. it doesn't make sense to me why. but somewhere in between finding sweet mental relief through "hot rod" and "laser cats" quotes, i dug deeper and the crush bloomed.

and then between viewings #3 and #15, i was hooked. andy samberg, somewhere in seattle there's a tall mormon girl that would love to go on a date with you.

2009-03-24T23:37:00.001-07:00

why is this so funny?

oh, baby

2009-03-24T22:54:00.000-07:00

this post probably borderlines on copyright infringement, but hey. i'm not selling anything. i made a card for my friend who is a new mother and looked for baby images through google. they are just too good to not share. these were my favorites.

tell me about it

2009-03-23T23:51:00.001-07:00

why does this hit so close to home?

i really wish that i could explain this to some of my past dates and potential boyfriends about how i have a difficult time dating outside the church, and it's really not them, they are clearly awesome or else i wouldn't have passed along my digits but boy, we can't be serious and exclusive together until you get serious and exclusive with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints!

for instance. there was scott of SLC who is one of the kindest, gentlest, dearest people you could ever meet and took care of his dog and his friends like family; walter the passionate latin man who left beatles songs on my voice mail; brian of taiwan who was an excellent kisser, and another boy in seattle i'll not name because i'd still like to be friends with him and it'd embarrass all parties to post his name on here. but he has excellent taste in music and is a great conversationalist.

i guess i haven't been one of those girls who has had lots of opportunities to get serious with LDS men, and so i wonder why some married LDS people complain about their spouses.

early in '08, i was at a date's relative's home and some other relatives stopped over and they dished into this game of "feel my marital pain" where they basically made fun of their spouse in front of the whole company and tried to one-up each other in these complaints.

i was totally baffled and uncomfortable. first of all, you folks are the kinds of people that would stick it in us singles' faces about getting married at 21, and being a certified-byu-couple, then you get married and sealed in the temple and then a few years, some beautiful children, a gorgeous home, church activity, and a stable career later, you start to get disillusioned? huh?

i know it's really wretched and useless to compare lives but i really felt like telling these people--and other whiny married people--this, and then adding, you know, in my soft-spoken voice that i have, i don't know if your bro and i will work out at all, and we're 23 and older than you were when you got married, and i'm kind of panicking over the possibility of many more years of singlehood and celibacy, so could i just humble y'all for a second and say what. the. freak. folks.

my dear readers...do you feel me on this one?

i'm a mormon and i love you. yes, YOU!

2009-03-14T16:38:00.001-07:00

dear tom hanks, producer of "big love" :

i've been hearing more and more about "big love" 's upcoming episode this sunday, which will show scenes from a temple endowment session and an excommunication.

i'm so sad and dissappointed. tom hanks, did you know that you were my celebrity crush all throughout junior high school? it was all about you, tom. i was such a geekster for "man with one red shoe", "splash", even "turner and hooch." but i'm l.d.s. and you called the people of my faith "unamerican" during the height of the prop 8 controversy during the 2008 presidential election.

now, i know that getting my trousers in a twist over this situation doesn't help anyone, especially not us mormons, glean wisdom and understanding that we need to peaceably soothe over this situation. but i came to that conclusion after being thoroughly upset for awhile yesterday. i'm upset because tom hanks, you're taking what is a sacred experience for me and many people of my faith, and then misusing it through your show. tom, can you imagine how that feels? what would it be like for you if someone tried to re-create a scene of your life involving a tender teaching moment with your mother without your permission? are you OK with that?

i know i'm not OK with "big love" anymore. i used to feel neutral about it because it was based on polygamists and i didn't think the show would amount to anything. my haunch was wrong.

regardless, i'm not going to boycott. i'm not going to get angry. i just wish that i could ask you in person, tom hanks, why? why is it OK to belittle and degrade people like me and my faith, whereas you probably wouldn't dream of doing the same thing to people of another religion, ... let's say muslims or jewish people? or tibetan buddhists? to do that would be horribly prejudiced, unsophisticated and insensitive, right?

so why is my faith different?

i have always been kind and caring towards people of different faiths, lifestyles, and race. i know that not everyone in the Church has the same amount of sensitivity that i do, and for that i'm sorry. but to consult people who have left the Church in order to get accurate about bashing their religion is so ... mean. there's just not any other way to say it.

so i have two last things to say. one is to the people of my faith who may be reading this. this situation makes me wonder, "how did we get here?" i know there are people who will take offense to the Church no matter what. but instead of getting angry, should we maybe look in the mirror and ask how we can treat people of different backgrounds, even "alternative lifestyles" with kindness and respect? could we put a halt on trying to self-righteously will the world into our line of belief and allow people to walk their own path to God? could this anger and hatred towards us be diffused by turning the other cheek and evaluating how we could be better disciples? could we try to relinquish some of the governmental control we sometimes seek by force it seems, and just relax, and have faith that the Lord will not let this country go astray?

the last thing i want to say is to tom hanks again. tom, ultimately anything that i have said in my petit blog is really my opinion. if you really want to know what the church is about, i'd suggest a meeting with some of our best representatives, such as our full-time proselyting missionaires or one of our apostles. they are delightful.

2009-03-10T00:03:00.000-07:00

You know, even though I'm pretty happy with my life, and things are going really well, there are still those days and times when it's hard to be single, and it's hard to think of reasons to be happy to be single. Like right now, I can only think of 3.
#1. The man in this picture above.

#2. The right sleeve of this dress.
#3. The left sleeve of this dress.

Those are pretty good reasons. Today, it doesn't suck to be single.

accents

2009-03-04T19:59:00.000-08:00

there are two new bottles of very expensive face cream sitting smugly on the bathroom counter. sigh. what can i say. my skin is still as venerable and tempermental as a teenager's at times.

the salesman had an accent.

again, what can i say.

to do list

2009-03-01T23:04:00.000-08:00

my friend jendar has been a rather gutsy and hip writer as of late; as has cousin h. i need to get back to the blog, part of my writer's voice draws a lot from this outlet, but between working around 50 hours a week, exersicing, spiritual responsabilities, family events, and transitioning into a new social scene, things are just busy for me.

the life though, is very very excellent.

things to do for blog:
1. find a new blog picture. i need to replace the little buddhist statues with something more seattle-ite, urban, sophisticated, part granola, part rock n' roll, part completely normal girl.
2. write witty remarks about the new hot yoga studio in town.
3. post pictures of baby bro's graduation from marine bootcamp.
4. explore opinion of inspiration-sucking "twilight" series.
5. create new signature parting.

mmmmmmmmmhmmmmm.

the best of 2008

2009-01-12T22:07:00.000-08:00

my life today definitely wouldn't be the same without taiwan. even though i am back in the states, the memories of my experiences in taiwan have made me happier than i have been in a long time. for this post, i'm including a list of my favorite quotes from my time in taiwan, and the best quote from today. gotta look into the future, as always.....

"miss megan, i 100 like you!" -felix, upon seeing me produce a bunch of tinsel pipe cleaners to make christmas tree decorations with.

miss connie: "...and on thursday, your parents will be coming to english school to watch your class. now, we all want to be on good behavior for our parents, right?"
simon: "no! i want to be bad!"

"miss megan, i wanna hear your rock and roll!" -king

"why he [ipod] have song? there is little man inside, he sing song, yeah?" felix, asking about how my ipod worked

"excuse me, may i ask, who is parson brown?" a fellow choraler for the wu chan stake christmas pageant, after jessica and i taught about 50 taiwanese people how to sing "winter wonderland"

"don't i look beautiful?" the 14-year-old fellow choraler for the last performance of the wu chan stake christmas pageant.

me: "good afternoon children! welcome to kindgergarden. how are you today?"
cynthia: "i feel so good."

"hey megan, how do you like your new president, butt-rock obama?"

"oh, you mean, like, take a s%^&?"

talkative thomas: "all my daughters, MIT."
jessica, shannon, and i: "oh, your daughters went to college in Massachussets?"
talkative thomas: "no, all my daughters, Made In Taiwan."

"i love you like a fat kid loves cake."

"i love you just as the fatty loves the cake."

talkative thomas: "three things you must do everyday for good health. me, i do this, stand on train, six hours, no problem. one, you must jump up and down one hundred times, six times, a day. six hundred times a day, jump up and down. two, you must point and relax your feet. three, you must hit your stomach with your fist when you go to the bathroom. Number one and number two, you must do this."

"mushi mushi mushi. piang!"

"i is thomas. choo choo! ching-chong ching-chong ching-chong." - jeremy

"you have grandma? give you [a piece of chocolate for her]. you have grandpa? give you [a piece of chocolate for him]." - king

"my daddy have camera so see your picture on the computer, so i cannot miss you." - benjamin

the best quote made in 2009 so far was definitely made by a 4-year-old: "this is my best magic trick." and then hid under the table.

2008-12-28T04:30:00.000-08:00

is it really december 28th? am i really going to board a plane in 4 days and leave behind taiwan, berhan, the kids, the temples, the noodles, the chopsticks, the tights, the scooters, everything that makes up taiwan????

yes, it's true. but i've made my final memories of taiwan very pleasant indeed.

i have not written because the christmas season has simply taken up too much time. three christmas programs in one day, then extra caroling the day after the semester ended, then cleaning to do, then five glorious days of travel.

if you go to taiwan, you simply must go to sun moon lake. and you must also go to kaioshiong. you must also simply stay with a family that lives in taiwan if you can. their hospitality simply blows america out of the water. one family took in a group of five young american adults for two nights: they treated us like family they hadn't seen in years. we slept in their beds, they paid for all of our meals, they drove us to tourist spots we wanted to see. they invited us to the baptism of two new members and a dinner afterwards, and hilarity ensued.

i am learning how to say in chinese: "i love you like a fat kid loves cake!"

2008-12-02T08:01:00.000-08:00

life is so much more fun when you stop a moment and snap away with the camera.

the king & i

2008-12-02T07:55:00.000-08:00

king, child on the left, is pretty much super cute, super smart, and super popular. one day while waiting for his parents in the lobby, i let him and his classmate felix listen to my ipod. felix listened and asked me, pointing to my ipod, "why he have song? he have little man inside, sing, yeah?"

king was tickled pink with the ipod and now requests in class, "miss megan, i wanna hear your rock and roll!"

chinese thanksgiving

2008-11-30T06:40:00.000-08:00

despite being a bunch of americans in a foreign country during the western holidays, us foreigners didn't let that get to us and we had a thanksgiving dinner anyway.

we made large volumes of food for our american tradition of thanksgiving. so much food that we couldn't carry it all on the scooters, so we had to take trains and taxis. we had it all: turkey, cosctco pumpkin pie, apple sidra, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, salads, even cranberry sauce and jello salad. it was food for the soul and music to my ears to see and hear it all come together

lish & i with our taiwanese friends lester and linda.

the branch president with his two adoreable children.

after the dance, we were invited by the stake's singles ward to participate in a y.s.a. dance. the dj was very anxious to make the party bumpin, so he enlisted our help. we gave him a few song suggestions and he told us all the info. the venue: the chapel. huh? oh, it gets better. the theme: blue jeans. the time: 6:30-9:30pm. i'll let it speak for itself.

the last activity of the night was to crown the night's dancing king and queen. everyone was given a paper heart to stick on who they thought the best dancer was. this investigator won, no hands down, and i got three hearts! i think it was for my spontaneous air guitar performance to the bon jovi song.

yellow & orange hearts, the ms. megan

the fireman

2008-11-17T04:02:00.000-08:00

ryan came into class today, like this. with a huge bald spot on his head:

i don't have the full story of what happened. i tried to get the story from him and i asked him and said, "ryan?! your hair! what happened?!" he said, "i is fireman!"

"what?" he insisted "touch my head!"

i put my hand on his head. "your hand is on fire!" he declared.

oh my goodness. so funny.

never say never

2008-11-16T00:46:00.000-08:00

awhile ago i was walking the street of a busy taiwanese market when my friend stopped me and said, "that's the modern toilet restaurant." there is a restaurant in taichung that is toilet-themed. i thought i was above such humor, but curiosity got the better of me this week and asked to go. so we went wednesday night. the food was pretty good once you get past the gross-out factor of toilets everywhere. in fact, the restaurant was quite nice-looking.

i also never thought that i would seek out things like footless tights but yet, i am wearing a pair of bright pink ones today and i really dig them. the girls of gofugyourself.com would shudder at me but hey, i don't think they've lived in asia.

i also didn't think i would be spending as much time as i do lying in bed, trying to regain energy that a group of extremely bright, very boisterous, and insanely cute 5-year-olds tends to zap from me, but alas i do. so i spend more time at home than i'd prefer, but i am taking up the hobbies of oragami and drawing to keep myself entertained. i bought books on each subject. they are in chinese, which makes the oragami one really really tricky but you just need to look at the pictures for the drawing one.

never did i anticipate needing subtitles for an american movie, but lo and behold, the gals and i drooled over daniel craig in the new 007 flick and didn't understand a good part of the dialogue because it was in spanish! or russian! or german!! so go figure that i'm sitting in a chinese theatre where are the subtitles are in chinese and the taiwanese are understanding the movie more than i am. hmmmm....

last weekend i went and saw wild monkeys. well, these monkeys were as tame as wild monkeys can get, but i got some pictures next to monkeys that weren't in a cage or anything. that was pretty cool. i was worried for awhile that i wouldn't get the chance.

i didn't get any of my own pictures about this next adventure, but it definitely deserves a blog post. all the kids in school got to experience an EARTHQUAKE TRUCK! SO COOL!!!

love,

mih-me-gun

THIS CANNOT WORK!

2008-11-13T20:50:00.000-08:00

"Mih Megan, this cannot work!!" is the complaint I heard constantly this week from anxious 5-year-olds who were unhappily subjected to three spelling tests a class period for four days straight, and desperately trying to get their pencils and pencil sharpeners in order.

Oh kids. If you only knew what is happening to me. Now after four days of trying to keep 5-year-olds from exploding from spelling stress, my brain cannot work. Yes, that's right kids, THIS CANNOT WORK!

It's not their fault. They are just being kids. Are they kidding, trying to pull stunts like that on tender babies? Ai-yuh!

Goodnight, says my brain. And yet, five more hours of teaching to go.......

Ai-yuh!!!!

5-year-old superheros

2008-11-07T07:34:00.000-08:00

lately, my KBR class, which consists of 5 boys and 2 girls at the tender age of 5, have been reminding me of jerry seinfeld stand-up routine that i've listened to frequently. in this routine, he talks about the differences between the ways that men and women think. he observes that all men see themselves as like a low-level superhero. "batman, superman, these aren't fantasies, these are options," he clarifies.

this quote really hits close to home when your kindergarden boys start to create alter egos for themselves. for the purposes of classroom management, i write the names of all my students on the board to track their stars earned for good behavior, and warnings for poor. then one day jeremy decided that he no longer wanted to be jeremy, he wanted to be "Zopemy." king started to sign his papers as "King Bat Man King" and then all the boys wanted the asian cartoon superhero "Ben 10" tagged on to the end of their names.

from there they just got even more creative. Benjamin wants to be referred to as "Jenjamin" and he often does this thing that looks and sounds like wolverine's blades are sliding out of his wrists and he's gonna come after you with 'em. so my perfect little doll benjamin has his alter ego identity. baby-faced Ryan got really into vampires during halloween and wanted to be refered to as " Vampire Ryan." he would do this cool thing that looked like he was going to lunge at you with his fangs.

Jeremy, still an independent spirit with a ceaseless mind, creates new names almost daily. he has been known as "Keremy", "Zopemy", "Jeremy Ben 10", "Jeremy Vampire Jer", "Jeremy Ben 10 L", "Jeremy Army Tricks" ... whatever he can think of. he is pretty insistent that i call upon him during class by this name too.

King's superhero identity remains my favorite. he got it through combing through one of the class phoenics textbooks while he was supposed to be following along the class. he excitedly asked me to change his name to "Sting."

oh, King. if only you could appreciate how truely awesome that is on so many levels.

love, miss megan.

happy pig 5 star club

2008-11-03T21:05:00.000-08:00

trying to control a classroom of young taiwanese students poses more than one challenge. they speak a language you don't understand, they rat on each other like it's an olympic sport, they make cultural references you haven't the slightest about, and they have a supremely immature idea of good humor.

for instance, one of my five-year-olds enjoys snorting loudly and then giggling wickedly, which sends the rest of the class into hysterics. the kindergardeners like to make references to sitting on a toilet, and for awhile there, my 8-year-olds liked calling me a pig. they would even write this insult on the board in dyslexic chinglish: "uoy is pig" with a snicker snicker snicker.

my roommate tried to convince me that pigs have a different connotation in asia. they love pigs, she said. it symbolizes wealth. needless to say, i didn't like being called a pig and i didn't think a compliment to my wealth is what my 8-year-olds were intending.

i was lamenting this complaint to my friend cole, and asked him, "i don't know, cole, what motivated you when you were eight years old?" he had a brilliant idea that will forever make me indebted to him. why don't you turn it around on them so it's cool to be a pig, he suggested. like kids that display good behavior could get pig stickers. why not, i thought, it's worth a shot. i'm at my wit's end.

and so was born the "happy pig five star club." it goes something like this: children must have at least five stars and no warnings to be in Ms Megan's Happy Pig 5 Star Club. children that get awarded five stars for good behavior have the power to get one warning erased. every star earned after that also expunges secondary and etc warnings. stars can be earned through saying thank you, saying please, sharing with another student, helping the teacher, giving a compliment, or sitting nicely. sitting nicely is BIG with Ms Megan, i tell you. children who get no warnings and at least five stars by their names on the board that by the end of the class period get to select one pig sticker the next day in class.

so i tried this the next day in class with the eight-year-olds. worked like magic. all i had to do was implement the program and explain it to them and i had their riveted attention. i didn't even have to wave the stickers under their noses. the promise of stickers was enough. it just worked. i wrote cole after class,

so are you sure that you're not the one that's supposed to be a school counselor? because i tried the pig sticker idea and it was a miracle. they even earned break time outside which hasn't happened for like, months now. thanks dude.

so goes Ms Megan's Happy Pig 5 Star Club happily on their way. when i feel conflict and strife in the conflict, i highlight the behavior of good students and mention how they will get to be in the Happy Pig Club and how i wish that everyone can be in the Happy Pig Club. sometimes this encouragement leads to a zion-like atmosphere. other times the children fight with each other over who is going to share their eraser with someone. kind of defeats the point of a harmonious atmosphere, but at least they're fighting to be good to each other and seeing that puts me in a good humor.

hopefully the Happy Pig Club will hold their interest until the end of the month until they think of something new to call me, like a toad or a beetle, and i'll have to find cute stickers about that in order to make it cool. wish me luck. or at least wish cole luck, he's the one coming out with all the good ideas and he's not even in taiwan.

love, miss piggy meggy

thriller!

2008-11-02T05:08:00.000-08:00

post-school Halloween activity: KTV to our hearts content.

KTVing is a popular activity in Taiwan where groups of people go into private rooms with their friends and karaoke to their hearts content. Which is exactly what we did.
We had three hours of English songs, free food, drunk Taiwanese people barging into our room to ask where we were from, and it was wonderful and perfect.

much love, miss megan.

trick or treat!

2008-11-02T04:46:00.000-08:00

Noone does Halloween the way Berhan does Halloween. I hope the kids had as good a time as us teachers did! Riding our bikes around Feng Yuan in our costumes got some pretty good stares as well. As usual, I took about a hundred pictures that day, so only a few can go up on the blog, but when I get home, you can see them all.

costco

2008-11-02T03:18:00.001-08:00

costco is in taiwan and it's a household name here. it's beautiful: there are little demonstration stands, there are huge boxes of cereal, and large bottles of salad dressing. it is the saving grace of us american teachers out here in taiwan, especially when we need things like good birthday cake and huge slabs of meat. :)

one day off

2008-10-23T05:54:00.001-07:00

we had a blissful day off on double ten, which is taiwan's birthday! this story is better told in pictures. we had a marvelous time. we went to the beach, we went river rafting, we took a ferry that made everyone else sick, we went snorkeling. there was no end to what we did. well, there was. don't worry mom. but the weekend was completely awesome.

lyric mitrochondria

2008-10-14T07:25:00.000-07:00

my roommate lish has a taiwanese friend, whose name is lester, who has a band. he invited us to watch him play at his family reunion. he took us to his family's home which is in a farming community around taipei. lester's family is huge, even by american standards. lester's father comes from a family of 12 siblings. most of the families live together. lester's father is a retired chef and made amazing, fresh chinese food. we took a walk around their home which is surrounded by rice fields.

lester's band was awesome. they played taiwanese music, and american music that lish and i could sing along to. one highlight was when the band played "hey jude" by the beatles and the entire audience joined in for the "na, na na" part.

we met some of lester's friends as well. on the left is kaiser. lester and kaiser have been friends since junior high together. isn't that amazing? in the middle is linda, who is an art teacher and drew wonderful cartoons of lish and i after we met.

lish and i felt extremely welcome by lester's family. while MCing, they translated some things into english for us. they welcomed us in english and joked around and like true kin, made us dance to the band's music in front of everyone. here lish and i are pictured with 12-year-old handsome jo-jo. he was a little shy with us because we were the first white people he had ever met. but he was good-natured enough to pose for a few pictures with us.

the band's name is lyric mitrochondria. lester explained to me that the mitrochondria is the most important element of a cell because it gives the rest of the cell, and thus the rest of the body, power. that is what this band hopes to accomplish through their music. i was also really impressed by their singer. not only is she a cute little china punk rock doll, she has a beautiful singing voice that i could listen to all day. i want to take lessons from her.

i think the above shot would be amazing if that music stand wasn't blocking the boy's head. oh well.

i made fast friends with the family dog, whose english name translates to pineapple. the poor thing is considered unlucky because according to chinese traditions, if a dog has white on its tail or toenails, it is an unlucky dog. pineapple has both of those things. i noticed that people in china don't really pet dogs with their hands. they stick their feet out for the animals to smell and rub against, but that's that. once i met pineapple and started to rub his ears, he couldn't stay away from me.

like i mentioned earlier, the family was very gracious to us american guests and did everything they could to help us feel included. in the middle of the band's performance, there was a short break for a trivia quiz. they handed out small prizes. the MC was so kind that his questions were quite simple, or about the american guests. for instance, he asked the question in chinese and then our new friends would nudge us and say, "the question is what is lish's full name. raise your hand! answer!"

both lish and i won little prizes to take home. cute huh? after the band was done performing, it was time to take lish and i home, but they insisted that we stay to perform some english karaoke for them. taiwanese people LOVE karaoke and they are popular household items to have. kind of like where americans have video games, the taiwanese have karaoke. but isn't it just like your own family to insist on doing something in front of them that could potentially be very embarrassing but then cheer you on like a powerhouse when you're in the middle of pushing your comfort zone? i think so.

with love, miss lish and miss megan

bruiser twins

2008-10-08T08:55:00.000-07:00

here we are, already into october. this month's must-have fashion accessory is stitches in conspicuous places. not stiches as in thread on your clothes, but stitches that piece the skin on your body back together.

the hipest kids at berhan are sporting stitches on their chins and foreheads.

here is benjamin and i showing off our battle wounds during his lunchtime last friday. doesn't medical tape go smashing with anything you put with it?

for a few days, eve in afternoon kindergarden and i had matching chin wounds. unfortunately, i didn't get the opportunity to take a picture with her before i took off my medical tape.

this accessory is only for the super-elite, as it cannot be found in any stores. it requires the prerequresite of being cool enough to collide with something unforgiving such as a table, a wall, or bathroom floor, with such force and impact that it rips parts of your skin apart. serious serious business!

hospital love from the Far East,

mih-may-gun.

kids do the darndest things....

2008-09-28T03:02:00.000-07:00

i love how kids are almost completely, 100% in motion. depending on their personalities, they never stop. they are as unpredictable as the weather.who would have thought that our students can understand complex concepts like drawing weather diagrams? tom does and will frequently draw the spirals of uncoming typhoons when we discuss weather in class.

take, for instance, the challenge of trying to photograph kids. people are always trying to make faces at them so they will smile for the camera, or hold them still so as to capture a moment on film. but it doesn't always work out.

cynthia, for instance, is a darling little girl that is in my afternoon kindergarden class but is as kinetic as a fire sparkler. she wouldn't gather around me with the other girls, so miss connie thought she was safe to take a picture with her not in it, but cynthia had a different artistic vision. she kept leaping into the picture frame and the last moment so we have some awesomely bad pictures to flaunt of some of the afternoon kindergarden children. oh how i love these children.

much love,

my furry friend

2008-09-28T02:19:00.000-07:00

there is a morose bulldog that lives next door. he is short-chained to a metal doghouse. his toenails are horribly overgrown. there are sores on the bottom of his feet. his eyes are red and bloodshot. he is one of the saddest creatures i have ever met. i mean, look at his coat? for some reason the picture wouldn't upload as rotated even when i did rotate it on my computer. but it gives you the idea of how sad a creature this bulldog is.i can't stand to see him looking so sad, so i've taken it upon myself to go and pet him frequently. i think it makes him really happy to have someone stratch him and pay attention to him. he is the filthiest living creature i have ever met. and his cute little face makes him really endearing.

i'm going to go ask the owners if i can have permission to give him a bath and occassionally take him for walks.

love, megan and lucky

happy autumn

2008-09-22T23:26:00.000-07:00

did you know that on september 21st, the first day of autumn, you can stand an egg up all by itself, due to all the gravitational pulls of the moon on the equinox and a lot of other scientific explanations that i really couldn't put in intelligent terms without spending 10 hours researching it? but it makes for some cool pics.

i heart taiwan

2008-09-22T17:00:00.000-07:00

here is just one more reason to be in love with taiwan.

i've been on a fresh manicure/pedicure kick lately, and this is greatly facilitated by having nail polish remover. so off my roommate and i went to the watsons drugstore to find some. easy purchase, right? you're in, you're out, you're done.

um, not so much.

my roommate and i must have spent about forty five minutes in this drug store, scrupulizing every aisle and meticulously inspecting every bottle that could be, possibly be, in anyway would be, nail polish remover. Due to our inability to read chinese, nothing was obvious as to whether or not it was nail polish remover unless the brand was american. i even checked out the french beauty products.

well, we found just about everything else you can imagine before my roommate found the nail polish remover. for instance, varities of skin whitening lotion out the whazoo--no offense to any of my taiwanese friends that actually covet and compliment my pale northern european epidermus. yeah, mom, it's cool to be pale in canada and in taiwan! but anyhow.

during our meticulous probing of the watsons department store, we also half a dozen different kinds of eyelash curlers, and more varieties of tweezers than i thought possible. socks. underwear. prenatal pills. candy. ace bandages. even some hair dye for white people.

then, we stumbled upon the product that made the experience worth blogging: a bucket of nipple tape. really. nipple tape. the packets even told us in english. have you ever seen that for sale in an american drugstore? i thought nipple tape was the kind of thing you could buy only in hollywood. and yet, STILL, no nail polish remover.

connie convinced me to have the guts to do some kind of asking a salesperson where it would be, which included pointing at my painted nails and making a rubbing motion and i offered something like, "for taking this off." she pointed downstairs where we once again scoured the place.

"OK," i said, "one last round upstairs, and then it's time to move on with life."

amazingly, connie found some. the nail polish remover was right at the entrance of the store on the bottom floor. i mean like, right at the entrance of the store, the place that i don't like to wander because i don't like to look like i'm about to pick something off the shelf and then wander off with it in my purse. not that i would do that. but do you know what i mean?

so it was right at the entrance of the store. on the very bottom shelf. next to items completely unrelated to any of the other dozens of nail products that flowered the store. at least we know exactly where to find nipple tape, should we ever need some. easy purchase, right? you're in, you're out, you're done.

bowling for berhan

2008-09-18T11:31:00.001-07:00

the other night some of us went bowling. and we got to eat some costco cake. with chopsticks. we got a little crazy, probably from spending too much time inside due to a typhoon stealing all of the good parts of the weekend. but where else can you be giddy if not at a bowling ally?

while it was fabulous to eat costco cake with chopsticks, i think my favorite parts of the evening were teaching karen, my taiwanese friend who teaches me chinese, the american phrase "what the heck" and making her use it in a sentence, and then bursting out into songs we sing with our kindergarden children. i need to watch my back because i think rachelle is plotting to get me back for slapping her so playfully hard on the thigh.

wo men ai ni,
the berhan family

chinese b.b.q.

2008-09-18T11:31:00.000-07:00

it is moon festival season in taiwan. moon festival is based off of an ancient chinese legend about a woman who fell in love with a rabbit that lived on the moon, so she flew to the moon to be with her lover. i think it's a cute story. apparently the saying "a fish may love a bird, but where would they live?" really does not apply here.

the chinese celebrate by eating lots of moon cake and by barbequeing habachi style. they've got little coal grills that they set on the ground, and one is encouraged to relax by sitting right next to your grill, loading up your kebab with green peppers, tofu, pork, chicken, and load it with barbeque sauce. they even barbeque bread. and i have to say, being invited to join the chinese singles' ward to barbeque with them was probably one of the best meals i have had in taiwan. it is kind of funny, too: so much moon cake is consumed during moon festival that there was a bit of a bread shortage one week. last week, we couldn't do kitchen activities with our students that required bread due to shortage problems at the bakeries. i guess we could have embellished some moon cake though.

the members of the church in taiwan are some of the warmest, kindest, friendliest people i have ever met. i am constantly impressed by how eager they are to make new friends and help people feel included and welcomed. while driving away from the event that evening, my roommate commented, "if more members of the church in the states were like this, we would have no problem retaining members." i think she is right.

when i was up in taipei, i met the mission president and his wife. his wife told me that the missionary work in taiwan is warmly received because it is part of the culture of taiwanese people to behave christianly towards each other: think of each other before themselves, raise self-reliant families, work hard, show love and kindness to others. it is a beautiful thing to see and be a part of.

with loves, us.

good sabbath days

2008-09-06T23:36:00.000-07:00

each sunday i attend an english branch in the nearest big city to fongyuan. we make the 40-minute trek--either by scooter or by bus--to taichung to our building. our branch is mostly comprised of us english teachers. we carry the bulk of making the branch operate every sunday. there are a few members that are from the philippines who come to work in taiwan. they send money home to their families in the philipines. many of them are recent converts. their work is long and hard, but they are happy, joyful people.

every other sunday, i teach gospel essentials. i get to teach the members who are pretty new to the church about the different principles of the gospel. it is a wonderful and humbling experience. we have a service missionary couple that worships with us, the dowses. they are our grandparents away from home. sister dowse team-teaches gospel essentials with me, so she comes to class and i get to feel her and her husband's spirit.

the branch president is an american who came to taiwan quite a few years ago to teach english. he met a chinese girl, fell in love, and made the stay in taiwan permanent. they have the most adoreable babies i have ever seen in my life. not to mention that their youngest child, bradley, is an angel. he loves everyone he meets and has the most adoreable smile. did i mention that he's cute and friendly and every time i see him i want to take him home? ....what's that you say? baby hungry?? who on earth is baby hungry? ahem, not me.......;)

to our left, we have the angelic baby bradley.

one of the women in our branch is philipino and her husband is chinese. together they have two gorgeous daughters. i think to these girls i have reached the level of really annoying auntie who wants to just smother you with kisses and pinch your cheeks because i think i have an unbroken record of kissing their cheeks every sunday i see them. but who could resist not kissing such angelic faces? and the girls are so smart! they speak english and chinese.

our group is small, but we are getting close and i feel great love for them. we are a family: comforting each other, listening to each other, supporting each other, loving each other.

with love from home away from home,

the miss megan.

cute cute cute

2008-09-06T08:39:00.001-07:00

occasionally i just whip out my camera and say "watch out! i'm taking pictures of anyone who is cute!" and that always produces good camera results.

taipei weekend

2008-09-04T08:40:00.000-07:00

last friday was karen's birthday. my roommate jessica and i made her a cake, and the idea came to me to make her some oragami to put on top to decorate. well, the oragami was a lot trickier than anticipated. we wanted to do an oragami of her zodiac year, but turns out we got the year wrong. karen is year of the rabbit, not year of the tiger. whoops. all the same, karen had a birthday cake with an oragami tiger made out of construction paper.

last weekend we took a trip up to taipei to attend the temple. we didn't have much time to soak in taipei, but we saw what we could.

after our trip to get something to eat and some photo opportunities, the rest of the group went back. i stayed behind to stay with my friend andrea, and attended a multi-stake singles dance that night. and it was SUCH a BLAST! everyone was incredibly friendly, warm, welcoming, and so charming! the taiwanese are such an inclusive people. we had wonderful, great fun, and i made quite a few new friends. hurray!

love, the miss megan

my taste twin

2008-09-03T09:29:00.000-07:00

my roommate shannon is my taste twin. this means that we have the same taste in exactly everything important: the gospel, music, clothes, reads, and even men. we even own a pair of the exact same shoes and know several people in common, including my cousin who served in her mission.
unreal, huh?

so our last FHE was a lip-syncing of sorts. our room, 401, represents the kind of edgy, arty, angsty type of taste in music, so we dressed in punk attire, ratted our hair or found wigs in the supply closet, decorated ourselves with marker tattooes, and rocked it to guns n roses.

it really just was a vain way for me to put all these outlandish fantasies of being a rock star into some sort of textile, kentic experiment. all the same, i think shannon and i do a good job of giving a nod to the band.

love to my sweet friends o' mine,

megan as axel rose and shannon as slash

hey there peanut butter, how you doin'?

2008-08-31T06:46:00.000-07:00

on wednesdays, thursdays, and fridays, i teach afternoon kindergarden (AK). they are my favorite class to teach because they are the most darling, the most charming, and the most receptive students.

also, we share a fondness for peanut butter, so we are instantly all BFFs. behold! 1,000 dancing AK maniacs:

always with love,

the missuh megan

speak-uh chinese

2008-08-29T05:57:00.000-07:00

"ai-yuh! miss-uh may-gun speak chinese!"

my friend karen, who is probably the most studious person you would ever meet, is a serious student of english. i help her with her english homework and she teaches me some chinese. she is a far, far, FAR better student of english than i am of chinese. i can count, and i am learning to tell time and dates. that's about it.

karen, who has been studying english for a mere year, is already onto the kind of grammar that i tried to wrap my mind around in 10th and 11th grade. how's that to make you feel humble, eh?

karen invites me to her parents' place every week to do a language exchange. our first meeting, we talked about the foreign languages that americans tend to learn. i said that i thought that americans feel that chinese is an intimidating language to learn. apparently, that was the funniest thing i could have said because it left her and her father in stiches. it seems to me that the chinese are taught in school that chinese is an easy language, and english is necessary. who knew?

the nice thing about learning chinese though, is that is makes some of the chinglish idioms that my children tend to yell make more sense. for instance, when my kindergarden kids used to still have to think about what day of the week it was, they would give a number for it. for example, "if yesterday was tuesday, what day is it today?" "today is number three!" the chinese word for "wednesday" actually has the chinese number three in it: "lee-bai-sahn" (something-something else-three).

karen is a very sweet friend and a wonderful person. and today is her birthday. here's to you karen!

loves,
megan.

we like to party

2008-08-23T07:52:00.000-07:00

who likes to rock the party? we like to rock the party!

developing children need breaks in between their long school lessons. by the suggestion of my mother, i give them a few "wiggle breaks" every half hour or forty minutes or so. these kids go buck wild. all they need is a little encouragement from "Here Come the ABCs" or "Dr Jeans Favorites" and they are the life of a ruckus party. Rock stars tearing up hotel rooms don't have a thing on these guys.

below is my ELE class, which is by far my most challenging due to the management of little personalities. below i am teaching them how to properly make the "th" sound in english, which they don't have in chinese. i thought it was pretty cute the first few times i did it, so i wanted to share the fun with the folks from back home.

As we say in Chinese, Ai-yuh!!

Loves,

Missuh Muay-guhn

jeremy

2008-08-16T10:42:00.001-07:00

jeremy turned 5 this friday. i keep talking about jeremy because he is one of my most difficult students, but outshines the other students due to his redeeming qualities such as his wit, his originality, and the sweet tenderness he will sometimes display. like sometimes jeremy would prefer to lie on the floor than sit on his seat, and instead of walking back to his seat, he will use his feet to push himself around the room, his back on the floor.

jeremy also throws grand hissy fits and will resist and resist to reasonable talk until reasonable talk threatens to send him to the chinese secretaries who believe in corporal punishment. and then he has a pair of pipes that would be the envy of most country singers.

i think jeremy is one of my favorites because you are most grateful for the kind of love that is hard-won.

i think i mentioned before how jeremy has a crush on my favorite student of that class, the sweet and adoreable jessica. jeremy will find any excuse to sit next to jessica when he can, and will frequently check her spelling exersices: giving her a star when she has spelled her three-to-five letter word correctly. i even caught him one time putting his hand on top of hers to help her write the correct letters to a word. during break, jeremy will tear around the room and will make sure that jessica watches by calling out "jessica, you see!" and then occasionally perform a feat of childhood masculine agility, such as jumping over a backpack on the floor.

but friday was the best because before jessica arrived for class, jeremy and his brother benjamin were there, and benjamin decided that he wanted to switch desks with jeremy. of course, there is the continuous sibling rivalry between the two, and jeremy was distraught by benjamin's position as an older brother to swiftly decide that he could just take jeremy's own desk without his consultation. jeremy opened his mouth and started to bellow his familiar canotation "I DON'T WANT--" but abruptly stopped mid-yell when i mentioned casually, "jeremy, if you switch with benjamin, you'll be sitting next to jessica."

he promptly seized his backpack and swiftly completed the switch. the last i saw of jeremy and jessica's romance was on friday morning. jeremy was trying to hold jessica's hand, and i saw their little pinkies intertwine as they lined up at the door, getting ready to leave english class to go have their lunch.

ah, the young love of little people.

this video is of jeremy, in his full jeremy glory, deciding to be witty by writing a sentence on the board in tiny letters. or, in his words, "wittle wittle baby" letters.

little people, part II

2008-08-16T10:18:00.000-07:00

my grandma asked me how i was doing with the kids. i said that they wore me out. she chuckled knowingly and said, "trying to keep kids that aged contained is like trying to keep worms in a can." and yet, they are the CUTEST worms i have ever seen in my life....

a few weeks ago we talked about getting dressed and had a getting dressed race, complete with shockingly faux wigs from the supply closet. here are the results, they are pretty priceless.

Mark and Zoe race to get Mark dressed in my pants.

I finally found a way to get Louise and James interested in something other than hitting each other: dressing Selina up in a silly outfit.

Selina remains one of my favorites, and not just for this picture. :)
Ben was always a good student and engaged in everything that I present in class.

Loves,
Teachuh Miss Megan and Tyrane

big buddha and alis(h)an

2008-08-16T08:32:00.000-07:00

one day on a sunday after church, some of us walked up to a big huge budda in chunhua city. it was really freaking cool. and best described in pictures. you can get an idea of how huge this buddha is from looking at the street picture. at that point, we were about a mile away.

nothing says "taiwan" more than budda statues and koy ponds. :)

some of us took a weekend trip to a national forest named alishan. the trip was amazing, the place was beautiful. even the process of getting there: taking a two-hour train ride, then taking a two-hour van ride, was fun and gorgeous, and chalk full of picture opportunities for picture-happy tourists such as ourselves.

we stopped at a temple on the way that had a ton of fun budda statues and a suspension bridge (pic on the left: courtney, center: me, right: rachelle)
below right picture pic (lindsay and courtney mimicking the cool budda)

alishan is a mystical, magic-like forest with a series of amazing giant trees, and great sunrises. it is a great little resort town. we spent saturday traveling there, walking around the giant trees, and having a genuine chinese hot pot for dinner. like, we had tofu and shrimp with their eyes still on. i really did not want to leave. gorgeous trees, heavy mist, the works. there were comments made like we felt like peter pan's lost boys. i personally felt that i was in sherwood forest that was filled with asian people instead of british persons. but that's just me because i was always a sucker for robin hood. but we saw a series of giant trees, a sacred tree, a heart-shaped tree, one that looked like a pig.....alishan is full of imaginative trees.

we found a quaint little hostel in the heart of alishan forest. all six of us gals on the trip fit onto one huge bed the size of our room! though alishan was much colder than the kind of weather we were used to, we kept each other warm.....

the next morning we got up at 3.30 AM! to catch the 4.10AM train to go up the mountain aways to watch the sunrise. it was beautiful and wonderful. not only was there a great sunrise, it was a fantastic people-watching opportunity. lots of people were wearing these funny sunglasses and i was making fun of them until i realized how bright the sun was and i pulled mine out as well.

did i mention that we took lots of pictures? no joke, when i got home and uploaded pics i had taken over 400 that weekend. so it was difficult to select which ones for this blog but when i get back to the states there will be some kind of picture-slide-show party, for sure.

isn't that sunset gorgeous? the words fabulous and to die for and so worth it come to mind.

hey, you curious or jealous or anything like that yet? then come visit me.

love, peace, and street food grease, megs and the taiwanese-wannabes.

wouldn't that be a great name for a band?

pictured from left to right:

on top: rachelle, jason, jake, courtney, darren, lindsay

bottom: emily, me, britta

....and then we sort the recyling.....that's not part of it, but it's still very important.

2008-08-13T08:09:00.000-07:00

i had neglected to write about the recycling habits of taiwanese people until now because to me, it is kind of old news. but then i mentioned it to my mother and she persuaded me to blog about it, so here we go.

the process of correct recycling in taiwan requires an education. there are, of course, your essentials of trash and recycling, but that is merely skimming the surface of the subject. no, what i'm talking about is Real Recycling, the kind that taiwan is really into. you have your trash, your compost, your papers, your plastics, your metals and glass. but what, exactly, goes into each one? in this subject, i find it best to evaluate your american attitudes about recycling and put them aside. you are not in kansas anymore, toto, you are in taiwan, where we are deep into Real Recycling. for example, in america, would you ever consider of putting a used pizza box in the paper pile? no. but in taiwan, you do. secondly: would you ever think for a moment of taking the utensils of your foundation drink apart, such as straw, plastic covering, cup, leftover ice, and then putting each in a seperate bin when you leave a restaurant? not a chance. but when in taiwan......

my introduction to recycling in taiwan came my very first day there. in the midst of filling out very important government papers, i hear a pleasant song coming from the street, which sounded like an ice cream truck. delighted, i said, "hey! ice cream truck!" my boss's wife was swift to correct me when she said, "no. that is the garbage truck. you will get trained on garbage and recycling tomorrow."

she wasn't kidding. the next day, one of the secretaries met us upstairs, where she inspected our american views of what is trash and then corrected them. trash (which includes things like wrappers, straws, used paper towels), metal, compost (all food products), plastic, and paper, not to be confused with trash. if you can rinse it out and it's still conceivably a paper product, like your takeout box from last night's dumplings, it goes in the paper pile.

please sort your recycling carefully, was the message of our recycling training, because the trashmen inspect our trash bags when we give it to them everyday. if they do not pass inspection, they give it back and you have to try again the next day. and you thought that song was the call of pleasantries such as ice cream for everyone with a spare dollar. no, the garbage truck is a tricky process for the educated.

needless to say, trying to sort the recycling is a mental exersice that i never thought of engaging in. when we go to McDonald's as a group, it takes us about ten minutes to get all of our waste sorted. there are pictures of just about every wrapper and container that your consumeable products come in, and since we are foreigners and we want to be seen as anything but callous and uncaring towards other countries, we are careful about following recycling directions. and i wasn't making it up when i said that your leftover ice goes into one little tube, and your leftover food in yet another, while the wrapper that surrounded your food is thrown away, as is the spoon that carried the food to your mouth, but the cup and lid that contained your food into one spot in the universe are probably recyclable.

i wish that there was some sort of test that you could give an object that you are thinking of recycling in order to properly classify it, but such an evaluation does not exist, to my knowledge. you just kinda have to learn it through trial and error, trainings at work, and diagrams at the McDonald's.

there is still much to write about the kids, the trips to chunghua and alishan, the androgyny, and the chinglish, but alas, they must wait until another time.

stay tuned folks,

miss meaygghan.

what's in a name

2008-08-07T02:08:00.000-07:00

the chinese have both an english name and a chinese name. we have found, in our adventures, some of the greatest chinglish names known to man: ranked for their originality, boldness, charm, and for also being quirky and just plain awesome.

take, for instance, some of the children that my roommate shannon teaches. she teaches a pair of twins named luke and leia. i'm not making that up. she also has an aragon in the same class. also attending berhan is my student king, and students tiger, zero, and brother and sister dream and sky.

but my alltime favorites are our friends at the bing-sha stand. there is jenna, pictured to the left, and her husband hello kitty, pictured behind her. i'm not making that up. hello kitty gave himself his english name when he was eight.

and then they have the most darling little boy, named trouble. yes, that is his name. i haven't met any trouble that came in a cuter package, have you?

ps you can get a better look at both pictures by clicking on them.

today is the chinese valentine's day.

tomorrow is chinese father's day. the word for eight in chinese is pronounced "bah", so august eight is "bah bah", which is how you actually pronounce father.

and tomorrow the olympics start in china! i would love to go but i doubt i can get the time off, and it is very tricky to get a visa. so another time in my life, perhaps......

loves, meg.

little people

2008-08-05T07:50:00.000-07:00

more pictures of the little people i teach.

i often speak of the children that i teach as though they are my own. it's because they are just so cute and endearing! i mean, couldn't, wouldn't, and shouldn't moments like the following kodak moments caught on camera melt even the coldest and stingiest of hearts?

i think that jeremy, center, has a little crush on jessica, right. during spelling jeremy will rush toward's jessica's desk after every word to give her a star on her word. today he "forgot" his reading book and insisted on sharing with jessica. and who couldn't like jessica? the girl is a darling china doll!

traffic

2008-08-05T07:07:00.000-07:00

i think i once said on here that it helps to think of managing taiwanese traffic as like playing a video game: think of all the cars, scooters, bicycles, dogs, etc etc as things that you have to veer around in order to successfully navigate the game.

now i think that the analogy of traffic in taiwan as a video game is a bit of an understatement. i'd start to be impressed with the mario cart game if mario had to balance himself, luigi, AND yogi along with a bag of groceries in that cart of his. because that is pretty much how transportation goes in taiwan.

it's summertime, so gas is expensive even here in taiwan, so people swap their cars for scooters and manage to put all manner of things on them. i have seen numerous dogs happily sitting on the floors of scooters, and the tiniest of children on board the family vehicle whilst in the arms of their mother; or, if old enough, standing in front of the driver. people drive around with big tanks of propane strapped to their scooters, bags of groceries, etc. it is very common to see two people on one scooter, but imagine a family of four: two parents and two little girls, on one scooter. oh yes, it's being done. it is the kind of thing that would make child protection law makers in the states faint dead away.

i've learned that it's important to just kind of suspend all disbelief when it comes to taiwanese traffic. it makes all things seem possible. take, for example, how three girls managed to fit onto one scooter a few sundays ago when we tried to check out the chinese singles' ward in a city half an hour away from where we lived.....
i fear my mother's reaction at posting this picture but i'm sure that after taking a few deep breaths and completing her second double take, she will be fine, laugh and say something loving and gentle like, "well, i was 24 once....." so it turned out fine, our woman jessica is one heckuva balancer and driver. jessica, britta and i sure did garner many curious stares. guys, just a white person walking the streets by themselves is enough to merit some attention from the people of taiwan, so imagine three white girls all crowded on one scooter, all wearing skirts......
in the event we had gotten pulled over, i had an alabi story that britta and jessica were the bridesmaids to the purple-and-black combat-themed wedding i was the runaway bride to, and they were helping me escape ......

i am getting more and more taiwanese everyday. i have even bought a smog mask. the people of taiwan wear these masks around their faces to prevent inhaling tons of pollution while they are out there on their scooters. they come, as you can imagine, in all KINDS of styles. so i found one that i thought was PERFECTLY unique and PERFECT for me at the ten quai store saturday night. but just my luck i saw some other girl wearing it today, if you can believe it.....

with love, peace, and smog-free face,

megs.

this is the night we've waited for....

2008-07-22T06:41:00.000-07:00

f.h.e. theme song: this is the night we've waited for. always a treat we have in store. we love each other more and more with every family night. stories and games for everyone. learning the gospel can be fun. mother and father, daughter, son together on family night.

since we are a family of twenty-somethings here at berhan language institute, we have family home evening on monday nights. and one day i was in a bookstore with one berhanian and was instantly reminded of this f.h.e. i did my freshman year. so, this is how the story unravels:

this is how you make pudding in taiwan.

1. pour into 500c.c. or 600c.c. of boiling water.

2. stir and melt it with a bag of pudding powder, and then make it boil again ,(sic) it will be more tastable.

3. then, pour into pudding cup.

4. add raisins or small pieces of sweetmeats.

5. it will be a good pudding after cooling and getting congealed.

6. it will be more delicious to put it on refrigerator for refrigeration.

so after being put in the refrigerator for refrigeration, the pudding had all the look and consistency of tofu. so we wouldn't smear it on a twister board as easily as hoped, but we did it and played pudding twister nonetheless.

like i said, stories and games for everyone.....

pudding kisses from the far east,

twisted meaygghan

the weekend, and beyond

2008-07-22T06:19:00.000-07:00

also please check out a post on my other blog, www.virginlipsproject.blogspot.com

our weekend started early. friday classes were cancelled due to a typhoon. our area wasn't hard hit, but it was pretty lucky for us to be out of class because we had all gone to see the batman movie and rode our bikes home in the rain: in the middle of this typhoon, mind you. so we got home at about 2am. needless to say though, i was very impressed by the batman movie. i thought heath ledger's acting was superb and it almost moves me to tears to know that in a way, he gave his life to the role.

other weekend adventures. one of us was invited to a taiwanese spa and was invited to bring three friends along with him, free of charge. so we were introduced to the fabulous experiences of herb pools and jet sprays. imagine the experience of immersing yourself in a mint steam room, to be followed by sticking yourself in 11 degrees Celcius water. yeah. But the other experiences, such as lavender and ginsing pools, as well as the full-body jet-massages. our host was extremely hospitable, kind and just adorable. i love the people of Taiwan. this little paragraph really does not do the experience justice. we will go again and i promise to be more descriptive.

The next day, some of us headed to an ancient Taiwanese city called LouKang, famous for a gorgeous temple, and home to some pretty amazing artists. There are men that paint scenes on paper laterns and fans. They are incredible, and I'm cooking up some ideas for what I want to order and bring home with me.

We met up with the folks that work at the other school that contracts out with ILP, who we hardly see at all. I am very excited to know these other teachers, as they are lots of fun, quick-witted, and I seem to have lots in common with both.

darren was in a rock band.

especially with britta. we are accused of having YELLOW FEVER baby!

we also got a good look at some amazingly beautiful temples.

love, peace, and art Chinese,
an exhausted miss-uh may-gun and miss russia

culture shock

2008-07-17T05:20:00.000-07:00

back in the early days of having a layover in san fransisco to get to taiwan, i told the gals i was with, "well, i guess the culture shock starts here." we approached the gate for our flight to taipei and i immediately felt that i wasn't in kansas anymore. excited and thrilled about it, to be sure, but the flight was where the cultural experience with taiwan began.

i remember the beautiful and petite flight attendants who offered me a chinese rice soup for breakfast, how strange i found it to see shrimp in pasta and now it has become commonplace. i remember how i thought that i had worked in a restaurant where i was often the only white person, so taiwan shouldn't be too far a stretch. but i still can't get over how often my friends and i are stared at. and i could have never imagined trying to describe something like movie "the blob" to a bunch of taiwanese 5-year-olds because that was one of their spelling words.

today in class i was like, "blob. B-L-O-B. hey, who knows what a scary movie is?" .... blank stares. "OK, who knows what a movie is?" .... blank stares. "Like Peter Pan is a movie. You guys went and saw Peter Pan right? That's a movie." They got excited about Peter Pan and I eventually got the discussion back to The Blob.

"So, a blob is like a big thing of......well, nothing really....." i faltered as i drew a swirly circle and said, "Well, in this blob, there's like....well, whatever in it. Nothing in it. Erm, anyway, it's this movie in America. And it's supposed to be scary."

another classroom of blank stares and then a pause. king, probably the most astute of my students, goes, "Teacha, that not scary."

exactly.

spontaneous & native-like

2008-07-14T07:27:00.000-07:00

the goal of berhan language institute and other international language programs is to create an environment of learning where children learning english as their second language can grasp the language in such a way that they can speak it in a spontaneous, native-like manner.

i reflected on this today and how it fits in with the context of other aspects of life here in taiwan: the blossoming relationship between my students and myself, learning to navigate feng yuan and taichung a velo, au bus and au scooter (by bike, by bus and by scooter), teaching sunday school for the first time in my life due to a new calling in the english branch, doing things as a berhan family.

spontaneous. i get to be witness to the language development of children. while it is at times a trying job, i feel rewarded when i see them smile at me, extend their little palms out for a high five, jump up and down in excitement for an activity i've planned, and get a sense of them wanting to please me. i have a student whose english name is king in one of my classes, and one day i told the class that was my family name. they weren't really sure how to handle the news except giggle and then king wrote my name on the board. and then little four-year-old jeremy grabbed his own marker and charged in.

the king himself

jeremy continues to intrigue me as a personality. he has a very bright mind and deep down, i sense there is a want to be accepted and to please, but also a big streak of independence that a classroom simply cannot contain. and is perfectionistic about his work. complex kid for four years old, and his little body cannot hold the force of his personality quite yet. there have been several times where he has caught me off guard with his humor that i have just stopped my teaching to watch him go and try to regain composure as a teacher. like on friday when he stuck three pencils in his mouth, point side out, and started to roar like a dinosaur. today he strode up to the whiteboard, grabbed a marker, and then assumed the demeanor of a teacher, complete with the know-it-all-stare and the clicking of the tongue that many teachers practice as pauses inbetween sentences, and proceeded to teach us a brief lesson on the picture of the girl that he spontaneously drew. at intervals during his lecture he would turn his face to me, in teacher character with eyebrow arched and marker poised over the whiteboard, and then turned back to his work. it's incredible to me that a four-year-old would have that kind of observation skills to mimic adults with such precise manner and make it funny. i wish i had gotten it on camera.

enigmatic jeremy

native-like my mode of transportation is a bicycle. i ride the streets to the grocery store, to the park, to restaurants, to night markets, to the movies. there are more 7-11s in taiwan than there are starbucks in seattle. but the amount of groceries i am able to take home at one time is whatever i've been able to fit in the bicycle basket and also hang on the handlebars. today i was proud of myself for bringing home a dozen of eggs via bike without hurting a single one. i am mastering the bicycle.

spontaneous and native-like tonight i successfully baked something for family home evening, substituting some kind of yogurt drink for buttermilk, and using a metric system oven and no timer. on sunday i was graciously given a lift home on the back of a scooter by another member of the branch. in one hand, i clutched my skirt, trying not let garments flash about and the other hand clutched for dear life on the back of the thing. riding a scooter in taiwan truely feels like being in a video game: like mario cart, really. with the wind at our faces, and traffic and a language barrier to navigate, we still talked a conversation about the heat of taiwan, the rain, places we want to travel to, and dating.

i have a friend who has done a lot of traveling and he said that when he's abroad, everything seems to have meaning. he was so spot on. even little things like the morose bulldog that lives next door, hankerings for american food, and having to give the grocery cart a 10NT coin before having access to it, all seem to have deep significance.

still so much more to talk about like the food, the chinglish, the recycling, our adoration of a japanese flick called "death note"....

air kisses,

shui

2008-07-13T09:20:00.001-07:00

translation: water

i think that according to chinese astrology, i am year of the rat and my element is water. good thing because we are seeing plenty of it. this entire week the rains have hit us.

saturday night, a friend was scheduled to be baptized into our church. we accidently passed the church on our bikes and were caught in a rainstorm. at least we didn't miss out on the opportunity for fun. we took some pictures in front of a hotel with sparkling ground lights and were cheered on by a group of restauranteurs who sat outside, underneath a balcony for protection from the rain, and gave us an encouraging applause and many thumbs-up signs as we waited at an intersection.

we're troopers. it's so fascinating to me how i could have gotten a sunburn and caught in a monsoon in the same day.

earlier that day we took a hike in the feng yuan area, where we were introduced to some of the exersice practices of the taiwanese, such as huge enormous, heavy hula hoops for the strengthening of abdominals and the messaging of internal organs. it is said that some of these exersice practices of the taiwanese are good to keep all of one's elements in harmony. the chinese elements are fire, water, soil, metal, and wood.

i am finding that taiwan is an outdoorsperson's paradise. i hope to be doing more hiking excursions and i'm missing some of my ldsoutdoors buddies really badly. but i am sure that there are more friends to be made here in taiwan that are outdoor enthusiasts. apparently taiwan is also home to a large number of spiders, almost the size of my hand, a web just about everywhere i turn. and i really don't care for spiders so that part really freaks me out but other than that, the outdoors are captivating. and many all this rain will just wash those scary spiders away for me. please, mother nature? pretty pul-leeze?

love, peace, and dumpling grease,
megs.

going postal

2008-07-09T07:45:00.001-07:00

no, i haven't gone postal, but i'm encouraging you to send me some love via postal service and here's how you can do it! the addy is:

336 Ay Gwo St
Feng Yuan, Taichung
Taiwan, R.O.C. 42045

and don't forget how to include a way to send you a postcard from exotic taiwan while you're sending all that postage on its way to care package highway heading far east.

"teacha, you see!"

2008-07-09T06:55:00.000-07:00

and now for something entirely different, my mode of enablation to be here and live in taiwan: the teaching position and the kids.

before leaving for taiwan, i had this vision of tender taiwanese children, full to marrow and bone of a sense of obedience and respect to elders, hanging onto my every word and being engrossed by my every move. i have since learned that children are children no matter where you go. you could be in the backwoods of ohio or in the crowded metropolitis of taiwan and still come across children that cry for their mothers, leap out of their seats without permission, not do their homework, and give attitude to teachers.

but, on the more charming and endearing side, you could be in either side of the world and meet children that brag about their father's strength ("my daddy so strong, he lift up dis desk wit one hand"), their family's wealth ("we have two house: one in taiwan, one in america." "we have three house!")

i introduce you to some of the charming parts of my job: the children themselves. i will introduce you by their english names as i haven't the slightest as to what their chinese names are.

on the left is young four-year-old jeremy, whose mind is sharper than some of his peers a year older than he. his energy and ability to find ways to get into trouble sure do keep me on my toes. i think he is a young boy that needs his positive actions reinforced, so i take the opportunities that i can to encourage him. this picture was taken when he knew that the camera was aimed at him. i think he was feeling slightly unfriendly with me at that moment.

to the right is benjamin, jeremy's older brother, who i am truely grateful to have in one of my classes. he is sweet, helpful, and even told me that he would go home and "fix jeremy" one day when i was having a difficult time trying to keep jeremy contained. don't let this get out to my other students, but he is one of my favorites. he was the first child to smile at me and greet me with a "miss-uh may-gun!" when he saw me outside of class. it was the encouragement that i needed after a rather stressful first day of school. and plus, isn't he just a doll? i see both jeremy and benjamin monday through friday. they are in my "KBR" class, which is like a transition between kindergarden and elementary school.

the above picture is of my afternoon kindergarden class. i team teach this with my roommate miss connie. connie and i are a bit mystified as to how to get the two darling girls excited and interested in learning english. think it'd be fun to make snacks and play games in english right? apparently not as cracked up as it seems to be for these chicks. they are too cool for school and connie and i are more than a little baffled by it. the kids, well half of them at least, are balancing bowls on their heads. we were talking about the different characteristics of a bowl: round, plastic, when zoey, the girl second from the left, made motions about stacking bowls. well, i can't say that zoey isn't cute in this picture. i wish her attitude matched the angelic look on her face. i also can't say that she doesn't have a good work ethic. after snack today these kids took cleaning up to heart. i have never seen five-year-olds that intent on such perfection in kitchen matters that i was a little stunned. i knew that my mother would be dubly impressed so i took some video:

my last class is an english language enrichment class. it is a class where kids are really feeling the cram-school culture. they have been sitting in chinese school all day and then come to english cram school to perfect the materials that they will eventually be tested on to get into a good high school. from what i've learned about the educational system in taiwan, kids at the jr high level are under the same amount of pressure, if not more, to get into a good high school that their american counterparts experience in senior high school to go to college. so these kids come to me looking a bit frazzled and so i do my best to give the kids the best of both worlds: quality brush-up skills time along with some quality play-time. to the right is selina, who is a china doll to the t. she is a bit shy and quiet, but has amazing flexibility as she showed me today during some stretches. of course, the rambunctious louise grabbing her leg couldn't miss out on a photo op. lucky for him, selina is a true china doll and a lady so she bears this patiently.

she is a gal not without a sense of adventure and i found her gleefully referring a game of ping-pong air hockey in the midst of those rough-and-tumble boys today. i think there is a lot more to selina underneath the surface.

loves,

miss-uh may-gun

happy 4th, 5th, and weekend.

2008-07-05T07:34:00.000-07:00

while you guys in the states were celebrating the fourth of july, we were will into july 5th out here in the far east. but that didn't deter my fellow taiwanese-wannabes americans.

so, clearly people don't celebrate the 4th of july in taiwan like they do in the states. saturday we had some time to ourselves, so we had a little celebration: an american movie, "hancock", a dinner of taiwanese-influenced KFC, ice cream, and cooking marshmallows over our stove.

it rained for the first time during our stay in taiwan. and when it rains, it pours!

we have a roof to play on so we took good advantage of that!

and many loads of laundry and several exhilerating trips to the roof to make boisterous raindances, we were rid of a busy week and planning and ready to see a full week of teaching.

loves,

megs and the berhan language institute family

p.s. ain't we cute wet?

candid shots

2008-07-03T22:55:00.000-07:00

*angelica, our boss's daughter, wandering around the neighborhood shrine that her relatives had recently built and dedicated.*

i was telling some new friends how much i preferred candid photographs over the kind where people are posed and expecting their picture to be taken. it's a really great way to capture a moment, and get a better idea of the personality of a person or a city. i mean, nature doesn't freeze in place and primp when we take its picture. so i guess it makes sense to take pictures of people that aren't anticipating that moment to be caught on digital pixels.

that being said, i was looking over my past few blog posts of this trip and realized that most of the pictures i have posted are of either immobile things like graffiti or completely posed shots. so i went through the photographs, and there haven't been as many good candid shots as i'd like, but here are the few.

*a woman in a bakery we shopped at. many people wear the medical masks over the mouths as a precaution against getting smog in their lungs. more people own scooters and bikes than they do cars, so you can see why people wouldn't want to be injesting that all the time. the photo on the right is of a boy at a night market, at a little booth where tiny fish were being sold.*

the picture below was also taken at the night market. it's difficult to see in this picture, but there are rows and rows of toys that people tried to throw little balls into the win prizes.

i also think that i've also mentioned that we ride our bikes everywhere. it is a thrilling experience. one of the teachers from past semesters actually suggested that we think of riding our bikes in taiwan like we're in a video game. and that is helpful, with all the obstacles of narrow lines, uneven road, scooters coming from every direction, cars that approach within an inch of your life. i've adopted following song as personal mantra for joining the epic challenge of taiwanese traffic:

loves,

missy me.

guts

2008-06-30T06:50:00.000-07:00

i am finding the people and culture of taiwan to be extremely charming. yesterday while walking to the bus stop to go to church, we had to pass over a bridge that was covered in adolescent chinese graffiti, with a few expressions written in "chinglish". the bridge was also smattered with bike locks. when i asked our head teacher, she said that a lock is like a romantic expression for many young couples. i found this absolutely fascinating and consequently took a few pictures.

taiwanese people are so happy. i have found that the children i have met so far are pretty shy, but the adults are usually very social and extremely enjoyable to be around. the secretaries of our school are so spunky, cheerful, and funny. one gal lead us through the hospital today as we had to get some physical tests as foreigners in order to obtain work permits. part of this was an x-ray exam, and we had to figure out how to wrap our hospital robes: far more modest than american ones, to be sure. and good thing, too, because it seems to me that this hospital that we visited is far busier than many american hospitals i have been to. today was also my first experience with a squatter toilet.

yes, the culture shock is really hitting me. along with squatters to adapt to, there is also learning to be much more scrupulous about recycling and learning to ride my bike in traffic, which is completely chaotic. but before i delve into our bike adventure this evening, let me elaborate on the recycling bit.

since taiwan is such a small country, they must be meticulous about how they expend their energy resources. so every bit of trash is seperated into seperate bins. and things that we wouldn't recycle in the states are considered recycleable material in taiwan, such as used paper plates and pizza boxes are to be rinsed off and put in the "paper" trash bin. a garbage truck goes around the city everyday. instead of leaving their trash out on the curb, because there is not much in the way of curbs in taiwan to speak of, the garbage and recycling trucks play a very pleasant tune that sounds like an ice cream truck, in order to alert people that they are to hurry outside with their bags of waste and give them to the recycling and trash people. when i first heard this pleasant tune, i asked what it was and did not believe it when i was told that it was a garbage truck. but lo and behold, it is!

so after our adventures in the hospital, lunch out (a full meal costs the equivalent of like, $4 USD), bing-sha (delicious smoothies), the garbage man, and some training on our objectives, we set out on a bike ride around feng yuan to see parts of the city, like good places for grocery shopping, hiking, swimming, parks, and a few points of cultural interest: a temple and a shrine.

foreigners get a lot of attention in taiwan, but people are always impeccably friendly. i think maybe part of it is my blonde blonde hair, but a little girl at the restaurant at lunch yesterday kept staring at me. i smiled and waved at her while her father also smiled. i feel like a celebrity or something. i have an obsession with taking pictures of taiwanese children, because they are all so adoreable. i also have my class schedule for this semester. the ages i teach are kindergarden, another class for kids aged 5-6 (which is a more advanced kindergarden, based on the english skill level of the kid), and an english enrichment level two class. the ages of these kids are i'm thinking 8-10.

i also did some exersices for about an hour this morning and found that my body was much more comfortable in the humidity after doing so. maybe something about working out in the heat helps acclimatize the body. i rewarded myself with a candy bar by the english name of "guts." cute eh? we also went food shopping again and i found some more cultural delights.

loves,

meaygghan

the best of the first impressions

2008-06-29T02:49:00.000-07:00

i've arrived in taiwan. it still seems quite unreal, but here i am. my friend jessica and i were once talking about pictures and traveling, and how she likes to take huge amounts of pictures of all of her first impressions. that is the blessing of digital photography: you can take tons of pictures and weed through them later. so here is the best of my first impressions of taiwan.

it was a long trip to get here. our first flight out of salt lake city to our connecting flight in san francisco was delayed about 2 hours. luckily we still made the flight to taiwan with some time to spare. our flight was a red-eye, and some of us were basically bolting to the next gate, so there wasn't anything like time to poke around s.f., which is a bit of a shame. but that great city isn't going anywhere for awhile.

the flight to taiwan was as comfortable as it could be. i actually slept for 6-7 hours after taking two fat advil pms and considered any kind of sleep i got to be a small miracle. i was also entertained by the movies and the tv show "victoria bekham in america" which i found entertaining because in some ways i find posh spice more genuine and endearing than most other self-obsessed celebrities, but in others just as guilty guilty guilty as the rest of them. but my views on victoria bekham is not why i am writing this blog.
taiwan is beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. as we flew in early saturday morning--because even though we left san fran friday a.m., we had lost a day during our time over the pacific ocean--i felt that i have never seen anything more gorgeous. blue, blue ocean covered with greenery all around. i was stunned and before we exited the plane managed to find some guts to take out the camera and snap a few pictures. most weren't that good, except for the one of this little guy who sat behind me. as the plane descended from the depths of the thick cotton clouds and towards the lush greenery, i felt truely excited for the upcoming six months and very grateful to be here. i felt at peace--for all the trouble of the application processes, the headaches and the stresses, i felt like it had been worth it.

the plane touched land and when we disembarked i felt like i had stepped into an aquarium. not like being a fish in a tank, but you know when you tour a city aquarium and you go down to the tanks to see the dolphins and belugas and such, you know that heavy settlement that the air gets? yes, that is the air in taiwan.

we took a bus from taiwan to the major city closest to where we will be teaching, tai chung. needless to say, hauling around luggage was a major adventure. the idea was to have 2 bags of a maximum of 50 pounds each. but when you are packing for a job for six months, that suggestion is, well, kind of like a guideline. i think the pictures can better explain what i'm trying to convey.

so we eventually got set up in the dorms in our school, the berhan english institute. they provided us with a lunch of bubble tea and pizza. i just about flipped when i saw the bubble tea: i absolutely adore the stuff. we went shopping for groceries at a market called asia go for pillows and some food.

you know, before leaving for taiwan, i didn't give too much thought to learning the language, other than learning how to get around. the last time i went abroad, to paris, i was pretty comfortable with french. i think i took for granted what a blessing it is to be able to speak the native language. while shopping for groceries, i wanted to ask people questions, or just be able to have pleasant conversations with the cashier and the people that weighed and priced my produce. but i was completely lost on everything they said to me. our boss was able to help us out for this first trip, but he won't always be there to grocery shop with us. i am now more interested, and motivated, than ever to learn chinese.

the school has given us bicycles as a means of transportation. we took ours out last night for a brief spin around the block. yes, the rumors of traffic being completely insane in taiwan are absolutely true. i have never really ever felt nervous in traffic before except when i was learning to drive. so now that i am feeling that again, i promise that i will use exersice caution.

and integrity. the branch president gave us an orientation of taiwan to us today and remarked that most people do not follow traffic rules. he said though, that as foreigners and as members of the church, it is important that we follow the traffic laws because people are watching us. that is for sure. i guess a group of foreigners would draw attention anywhere, but people in traffic regularly turn their heads to stare at my friends and i. it's kind of a cool feeling.

the picture above is of erin and shannon drinking some taiwanese coca cola! it's sweeter than the u.s. version, as is the peanut butter. the peanut butter may even be too sweet for me, as it tastes like reese's pieces.

i am still recovering from jet lag. our boss teased us yesterday that we looked like the walking dead, and i am still feeling a little like it. so that is why i look the way i do in pictures for the next few days :). but i am really happy to be here. i have a feeling that my experience here is going to be amazing.

much love,
me.

la blonde choc

2008-06-22T23:28:00.000-07:00

when i was studying abroad in paris, there was this great bakery in the same arrondissement as where we had classes. it was called "le gay choc", which you can only imagine means that the people running the bakery was a troup of fabulous gay men wearing striped shirts like you've never seen them worn before.

the only reason why i included the above paragraph was to explain where the title comes from.

my friend kit cat did my hair saturday night, leaking into sunday. she peroxided my hair and we chatted and caught up while i sat in my aunt's tub. the results were fabulous. i went from this....

to this.....

not that i didn't like my hair before, but i was growing ever impaitent with the two-toned mop that comes from roots that are threatening to conquer the borders of the hair color you like. doesn't kit cat do a fabulous job? the night was even better because we gossiped about t.v. shows and men and friends that have seemed to dissappear on us. ahem ahem if you're reading this dood.

this is also a little tribute that i failed to make earlier about a little horse named simba that i briefly knew but dearly loved. rest in peace, simba. i will find you in the hereafter.

brain leak

2008-06-14T16:26:00.000-07:00

a spill of the contents of my brain after the brain has relaxed from stress, stress and some more stress. and because The Mind really loves to chew on problems, in the way that dogs love to chew on bones, the problem that my mind has been chewing on is making sense of this rock song: 29 fingers by the konks.

so, if the band has 29 fingers, 6 of them thumbs, that would leave 23 fingers for the rest of the band. But that number is not perfectly divisible by 8, which would be the remaining number of fingers that the band would have in order to figure out how many hands the band had. Nor is it divisible by four, if you wanted to divide that by four, and then do some other stuff to see how members of the band there were, and ... wait, right? is that line of thinking correct? i was trying to figure it out so much that i even looked the song up on wikki.org, but no avail. availe? spelling?? the heck?? i could even spell out "w-t-f" the konks, but i find that just about the most tacky thing next to medal-placing olympian athletes sticking their metal in their mouth and biting it to test its quality or something.

furthermore i have been singing in my head my personal love songs to myself: "leggie blonde" by Flight of the Conchords" and "Dead Leaves on Dirty Ground" by the White Strips.

leggie blonde because i am leggie and a blonde and find that song so sweet and pure. and then the white stripes song because it is a sweet love song with a twist of hopeless romantic and a texture of cinema noir and some "greenlight project" feel from some greasy grunge guitar slides. yeah, like i really know what greenlight project means, that's just me grooming my vanity.

note to self: the evening of the day you are married, remember that you want to give your new husband a gift of song lyrics written on a mirror in permanent sharpie.

tonight i will be miss taiwan

2008-06-09T00:16:00.000-07:00

so this blog is to keep y'all posted about the happenings of my adventures in taiwan and otherwise.

so, here's the plan. i come to utah for training and certification in ILP's unique form of teaching English to foreign speakers next week. from salt lake city, we leave to taiwan about a week and a half later. i will be living in FENG YUAN CITY, which is in TAICHUNG COUNTY. (ps capitalization is so you can know where to look on map below for TAICHUNG.)

there, i will live for six months. i will even spend christmas there. housing is provided by the school, as is airfare. so, hurray! i hear that the people in taiwan are very friendly, and also very inclusive towards foreigners. so, though i only know how to say "thank you" in mandarin (sher sher), i think i will be fine.

the school also provides bicycles to its employees from america. i am very grateful for that, and to get the heck away from my car for six months. the prices of gas and the amount of time i have spent in traffic lately could cause me to swear. but since my grandparents will probably read this, i will spare you.

as the time rapidly approaches for me to go, i find myself running around like a crazy person, trying to fit in time to spend with family, friends, the dog, preperation, paperwork, etc. as of late, i have been apartment mystery shopping, and babysitting for the well-to-do-folks on mercer island, WA lately for cash. it's pretty cool: all the kids have been great fun and their homes are even gorgeous so it's been double fun to babysit them.

from reading to kids, i have learned a good deal about pirates (you know, the 3rd pirates movie, while being completely trippy and an exersice in glamour pirate photography, was historically accurate in some ways), and dinosaurs. for instance, i had no idea that a kids book about dinosaurs could feature so much illustrated blood and not have a parental warning label on it. nor did i ever wonder if people who get turned down for jobs as story boarders with slash-horror movies go into illustration for children's nonfiction.

the mystery apartment shopping has been interesting. in most instances, i get to pretend that i actually have some money to lay down on my own place. plus, i have gotten to tour some fabulous apartment communities in downtown seattle. if you are ever in the market and the income bracket to afford the $2,000/month required to live in Harbor Steps, i'd suggest it. the community is like its own little world, with 3 fitness centers, on-site personal trainers, restaurant, and yoga studio. AND amazing views of the puget sound to boot. THAT apartment shop was worth every lie i was telling about myself: that i was a young manager with a sales company based out of utah that had hit it big and was expanding. hey, plausible enough, right? anyone who has been in utah, idaho or california during the spring could say, "well, yeeeeeah."

and finally, i wouldn't feel complete about a post on missymeaygghan's blogspot without smacking some youtube videos on here. on friday, the family had dinner together to celebrate the youngest bro's completion of high school. grandma shugey, who had seen the equipment required for the video game "rock band" for some time, wanted to see how it worked. because of that, i learned that the only rock concert that my dad went to in high school was mountain's, and he heard "mississippi queen" live. way to go dad!

and plus, because courtney love is in many ways catchy in that obnoxious but endearing to any woman who grew up in The Grunge Area during The Grunge and Post-Grunge Era, i have that "hole" song stuck in my head.....you may or may not want to click on the video below. just three seconds of it has the power to stay in your mind for three whole days.....

foxy shaZAM

2008-06-03T00:03:00.000-07:00

that's the name of a band that i saw with friend d a few weeks ago. the band started to perform and immediately i said to d, "man, i hate it when guys are better at being feminine than i am!!"

but i was surprised by how much i enjoyed the show. and i completely covet the singer's pipes. tonight i was describing the band to my uncle via email:

"They are very indie, edgy, and in some ways, really out there, but they were the best performers that night. These guys just go completely crazy on stage, especially that singer. He is a real lean, lithe, androgynous kid, but he's got some pipes to him! Yowza. These guys take stage diving to another level. The singer, after diving into the audience with his microphone, continued to sing while the crowd held him upright in the air. At another point, he jumped up to grab a random handlebar from the venue's low ceiling and swung his legs up so he was curled up in this crazy ball off of this bar on the air. The guitar player looks like he's giving Jonny Depp's look in "Sweeney Todd" one big nod by copying his hair in it. And there's their keyboard player with a beard like an Orthodox Rabbi.....Not to mention their songs are really high energy and just plain wacky. But all in good fun!"

ladies and gentleman, i present to you .... foxy shazam.

in publik

2008-05-26T23:00:00.000-07:00

after a long secrecy, this blog has gone publik. this is for the purpose of being able to post pictures of cute little people and myself in taiwan, and just general easierness.

my apologies for such a long absence from posting to my few faithful readers who were with me during the period which i shall call The Hiding, but i've been busy on tour with my digital rock band.

we've seen some success but the bandmates are saying that i really need to hit rehab for this addiction to "lost." what do they know, i still have one whole season left.

these dreams

2008-05-26T22:28:00.000-07:00

i've been known to have some crazy dreams. usually they air on the side of disturbing, but lately they have been so funny that i have actually woken myself up laughing.

for instance, as i was cat napping after a beautiful session of church yesterday, i dreamt that i was back at one of my favorite haunts from my younger youth, ensign ranch in cle elum, washington. and i dreamt that i was back at my old job, which was leading trail rides on tia, the black mare with a cute ant-like face and the attitude of Mz. Thang. tia will only lead trail rides because she hates the amateur riders and she hates being in drag. so, tia is a serious horse, of sorts.

so imagine how shocking it would be for me to watch a dream-tia, moments before i was to mount her to lead a trail ride, dart into a corner, and grab a huge, pink-and-white dr. suess-like hat in her mouth, and nudge for me to put it on. i laughed. and i put the hat on her, in my dream. and i laughed and laughed until i realized that the dream wasn't real. so i woke up.

my other dream concerns memories of a guy that i had such a huge crush on in high school, it should have been illegal. the poor kid i think will never be able to look at me in the face due to the embarrasing nature of the monstrousity of such a crush. even now, six years after high school graduation, i blush and laugh at myself in embarrassment.

yet, regardless, there we were in a dream, working together in an office. and i was working diligently on a hand-drawn animation project--(yes, i know, it's the 00'ies, not the 90's and hand-drawn animation projects are all but extinct. yes, i have been listening to a lot of garbage, no doubt, and let's not forget the presidents of the united states in america in the car. i know she's lump, she's lump, she's in my head might be now obnoxious to some of you, but not to ME!! heheheh) --and for some reason we were having a bowling tournament (financial aid office memories, perhaps), i for another reason the office had given me a card. maybe as a farewell card for when i leave the office to go to taiwan? quite possibe.

but either way, i had this card and i was reading it. there were a few messages from other coworkers. but they weren't important, because lo and behold, there is a brief, yet potent message from this former crush, a crush of epic proportions:

"hey friend. just hang in there and be patient. you know i'm still thinking of asking you out."

it took a minute for the message to sink in. in my dream, i looked at him again. and i read the message again. and then dream-meaygghan burst into laughter and the real megan woke up.

pushing past the panic

2008-04-27T21:44:00.000-07:00

i am home.

and i've never before really appreciated what a beautiful place washington state is until very recently. i'm not working yet. i still haven't seen all washington state friends. but this past week, i made it to the gym 4 times, bought a used set of xbox rock band and created a character that looks just like me. i can get wireless internet in my bed. i don't have to pay rent or buy groceries or hunt for a laundramat. no wonder i am just getting generally lazy and complacent!

except, of course, when it comes to matters of the heart. mid-week i just had to get out of the house so i found myself in borders books, wandering, a bit teary-eyed from watching 20-yr-old brother cook dinner with his 20-year-old wife and treating her so gentlemanly, and came across the Book called "The Panic Years." this book is really quite brilliant. i feel like the author is the big sister i never had. while the title causes my mom to woop with laughter, i find it chillingly relavant to my situation. it is about how to stop panicking about not being married and navigating singlehood and dating with class and dignity while every other johnny be good's girlfriend is snickering off into the sunset with cubic zerconiums bigger than their fists.

reading this and listening to "the secret" on audio more frequently has helped me realize something very important. there is a genuine personality underneath The Panic. it is like what the personal trainer at the gym said this week: "everyone has a six-pack underneath layers of fat." yes, i have the personality of a genuinely lovely person underneath The Panic. and though this sounds completely cornball and so gen-x, i think i can say that i am coming to myself.